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Shavain
03-01-2013, 10:52 AM
This is a new manga made by me and my friend.We are new team and we would like your opinions so we can provide something better next time..
http://www.batoto.net/comic/_/sp/bloody-rose-r8162

Give us your support!!

Qualtz
03-01-2013, 11:43 AM
let's see...


-font
(BOLD, BIG AND BOLD, sure the script needs to be readable but wow, it's like you're assuming all of the people who'll read that has bad eyesight. make it thinner.)

-speech bubble + monologue space
(the speech bubbles are somewhat acceptable though those monologue should be put on a box if you know what I mean.)

-grammar
(totally needs work, nuff said.)

-art
(yes, you know it. in addition, put some less details on the background, it's better to go for simple but clean than rough and messy.)

-plot
(I guess i've read way too many to foreshadow what was gonna happen in the manga. add more twists and surprise.)

-naming
(normal is better than unique, yes, i'm talking about the characters' name.)

-misc
(Let's say someone throw a rock at you and you'd say "Ow! you threw a rock at me!" thanks to Captain Obvious. going straight to the point. don't state everything that happens. if a dog takes a crap, would you say "Ah! the dog took a crap!"?)

Sin Of Love
03-01-2013, 12:53 PM
Aha, not that bad, but u need to work on it more for better quality /ok
But u should add more information in the beginning about characters that who they are (like names).
All over its good :o

Qualtz
03-03-2013, 12:59 PM
I somehow doubt any manga would add the characters detailed with their names below their picture just like how your picture turns out on your school yearbook though, especially on the very beginning /ok

leafstar12
03-03-2013, 03:09 PM
It's pretty good, although I believe there was a type-o with left - "right" It has an interesting plot line and characters. And the quality could be better too.

http://otaku-streamers.com/tools/sig/24491-leafstar12.jpg (http://otaku-streamers.com)

Kisae
03-03-2013, 06:26 PM
let's see...


-font
(BOLD, BIG AND BOLD, sure the script needs to be readable but wow, it's like you're assuming all of the people who'll read that has bad eyesight. make it thinner.)

-speech bubble + monologue space
(the speech bubbles are somewhat acceptable though those monologue should be put on a box if you know what I mean.)

-grammar
(totally needs work, nuff said.)

-art
(yes, you know it. in addition, put some less details on the background, it's better to go for simple but clean than rough and messy.)

-plot
(I guess i've read way too many to foreshadow what was gonna happen in the manga. add more twists and surprise.)

-naming
(normal is better than unique, yes, i'm talking about the characters' name.)

-misc
(Let's say someone throw a rock at you and you'd say "Ow! you threw a rock at me!" thanks to Captain Obvious. going straight to the point. don't state everything that happens. if a dog takes a crap, would you say "Ah! the dog took a crap!"?)

That's a very detailed overall opinions, that's Qualtz for you /ok

Anyways yes he's very right though, and to avoid wasted time, lessen the background, it's more than enough to have a background at the point where they change locations, it's very understandable to the readers.

Just add shadows at some parts, i know it's good to detail it, but over achieving could be fatal as well.

Forllok
03-07-2013, 11:59 PM
*agrees with the person above him but in different words*

Monkill
04-10-2013, 08:19 PM
Very good for a beginner ^_^

Now, let's see what you need to improve...
*You need to practice perspective anatomy and nature phenomenons (like fire and water).
*The diagramation is good, history is well developed.
*I personally like to find out who is who in the history, I dont like the little boxes with all information, and the part I liked the most in your maga is the fact that you made me find out each character's names through the history. But you need to give these informations as soon as possible.
*Change the font to Laffayette Comic Pro, no need to use it much big, just large enough to be readable.
*You need to find a way to differ visually all kind of things. For exemple, in some parts I can't tell what is grass and what is fire, what is blood or what is shadow.


Little hints:
*you draw trees well, but sometimes is better to draw only the silhouette of them, giving a good impression when you need to do much details
*take a look at the full finished pages by yourself, then with diferent people that are unaware of your project at first, listening to their opinion is a good way to improve faster

legea
02-20-2014, 03:25 AM
everyone is AMAZING