View Full Version : The Innocent Criminal (A Naruto Fanfic)

02-01-2013, 03:39 PM
Post reviews and comments here: http://otaku-streamers.com/community/showthread.php?15656-Reviews-and-Comments-for-The-Innocent-Criminal-(A-Naruto-Fanfic)

A black shadow darted through the trees. It stopped, and the moonlight glanced through the leaves to reveal a girl, she appeared to be twenty or so, and had long brown hair. She looked behind her, and then dashed off again. She was desperate, for freedom, for peace, and to just get away. She was a war machine. The pursuers slowly caught up, swinging swords down at her. She jumped to the side. She never meant to raise her palms at them. She had no control over her powers. She only wanted to survive. Two bright flashes of blue and red light. They were all dead, she nearly screamed in terror. She had never meant to kill them, not her family, not anyone else. But yet there were the bodies, some were torched, others were frozen solid. All had their swords in mid swing. She fell down, exhausted. Crying, she lay there on the ground. "How… Why… Why am I the only monster…?" She sobbed in between words, finally crying herself to sleep, surrounded by the dead bodies of her brothers and sisters.

02-02-2013, 09:01 AM
Okay, I'll post the actual first chapter too, just so you can see what the story is actually going to be like.
Yes, I know it switched to first person. This was purposeful, as I think it makes the story better.

Chapter 1

I woke up with a start; sunlight was glaring through the branches of the trees. Upon standing up, my long brown hair fell down and covered my entire back. I looked around, and suddenly remembered what had happened the night before. I looked down again ready to cry. But instead I just walked through the trees, looking for a village, or anyone who could lead me to one.

After an hour or so of walking, and not seeing a single person, I sat down, looking at the bloody prints which had come from my bare feet. I was cold, dressed in only what could be described as spare rags. My shirt was torn in many places, along with my skirt. I had no shoes. "Maybe running away wasn't the best idea… but at least I'm alive." I was surprised at how my voice had sounded, very dry and raspy. That was when I remembered I hadn't had anything to drink or eat since fleeing my original town. That had been two or three days ago. I didn't even know how I was still alive.

My pale jade eyes closed for a second. 'But if I hadn't run away… I would be dead. Even though I didn't do anything wrong… simply because I was born the way I am."

I opened my eyes, and looked at my hands. They were marred by tattoo like marks. My left hand carried a blue diamond, while my right hand showed a red star. These weren't tattoos, I had been born with them. These were the reason I was considered a criminal. These, were my Kekkai Genkai. I had no control over them, and had accidentally killed many people one day. I never wanted to hurt anyone; my Kekkai Genkai had somehow activated itself. I had been arrested, and accused of mass murder. My sentence was either to join the military and become a war weapon, or to be killed. I had been a war machine ever since I was twelve.

Now, eight years later, I had run away after the war was over. It was decided I was too dangerous to be left alive. I was to be killed by my father. I disappeared in the night, taking no belongings, food or anything else. Now, here I was, alone and on the brink of starvation and dehydration.

I never noticed the person in the tree above me, staring down at me, until he jumped out of the tree and landed directly in front of me. I screamed, and backed up against the tree trunk, curled into a tight ball. "W-Who are y-you?" Came my faint question.

"My name is Obito, and I'm not going to hurt you." For some reason, he seemed to feel pity for me.

"I-I'm Tsubaki Yamaniko…" I sniffed, and sat with my knees drawn up to my chin.

"Why are you here?" Obito didn't seem angry, more concerned. I didn't know why he would be concerned for me, seeing as i had never met him.

"I-I ran away…" I looked up at him, he seemed nice. I tried to smile, just a small smile, but a smile none the less.

He looked at my freely bleeding feet, obviously torn open by running on rough ground. He sighed, and went over to me, picking me up bridal style, much to my surprise. "I'll take you back to the base, where you can bandage your feet." He walked off towards the base.

Upon arriving, he laid me on the couch, much to the surprise of the other members in the base. He handed me some gauze and medication for my feet before walking to his desk to do some paperwork.

While I was wrapping my feet after medicating the wounds, a few of the people, walked up to me. One of them had long yellow hair that covered half of his face even though it was pulled into a high ponytail, one of them had silver hair, purple eyes, and was holding a scythe. The third one looked like he was half shark!

The silver haired one took one look at me, and then yelled at Obito. "Hey! Who is this hot chick Obito?!"

I stopped my work and stared at the three. I was particularly shocked by the man's outburst.

Seeing as how Obito had ignored him, the man instead turned his attention back to me. "If I may ask, what is your name cutie?"

Obito sighed, and stood up. "Her name is Tsubaki, and she is a… guest." I still wasn't quite sure why he felt protective of me. He certainly wasn't in love with me, that much I knew.

The man looked back at Obito. "So you mean that this hot chick will be staying in the base?!"

The yellow haired person, I couldn't tell if they were a boy or a girl, looked at the silver haired one. "Don't get any ideas Hidan" This started a fight between him and Hidan.

I, being very confused at this point, had finished wrapping my feet with gauze. I sat there quietly, watching Hidan and Deidara, I knew his name due to their argument, before looking at the third person. He looks like a shark! He's even got gills… and he's blue!

Kisame noticed this and grinned. "Don't worry about them fighting, I'm Kisame Hoshigake. And I know, I look like a shark right?"

I nodded. "N-Nice to meet you Kisame"

Deidara and Hidan finally stopped fighting "I'm Deidara! Un."

Hidan grinned. "The name's Hidan."

"It's nice to meet you Deidara, Hidan" I said politely, even though I already knew their names. I had no clue why I was here, or who these guys were, other than their names. I didn't even know what organization this was, despite the black cloaks with red clouds. I was from a distant village, where I had never learned of the Akatsuki. I was completely clueless.

The rest of the day was uneventful, basically learning the other names of the Akatsuki and exploring the base. I was startled when Kisame placed a hand on my shoulder. "Obito told me to show you to your room. Follow me."

"O-Okay" I did as told and followed him. When they arrived he opened the door. I walked in and looked around. There was a queen sized bed, several small bookshelves full of books, a door which led to the bathroom, and a medium sized window. I turned around. "Thank you Kisame." He nodded and left, closing the door. I lay down on the bed, and fell asleep before even pulling a blanket over myself.

02-02-2013, 11:48 PM
I'm probably going to keep updating, even without reviews.

Chapter 2

I slowly woke up, not realizing where I was at the moment. I sat up and rubbed my eyes before stretching. After sitting there for several more seconds, I finally remembered where I was. I looked around before noticing a black shirt and a black skirt. They both had the same red clouds as the cloaks I had seen the day before.

I got up, picked up the clothes, and walked into the bathroom. After taking off my old clothes, I took a long shower.

I stepped out of the shower and dried myself off before putting my new clothes on. I was grateful the skirt came to my knees. After scouting around for a hairbrush I finally found one, and started brushing my hair. This took awhile since my hair reached just past my butt.

I had just put down the brush when someone started pounding on my door. "Hey chick! You awake?!"

I smiled and walked over to my door, opening it and nearly getting hit by Hidan. "Yes I'm awake."

Hidan grinned and turn to Deidara. "See?! I told you I didn't wake her up!" This started another argument between them.

I brushed past them, closing my door on the way out. I walked down the hall, somehow ending up in the large room at the entrance. This room was connected to the kitchen, so I walked in there looking for something to eat. I found enough to make breakfast, so I decided to make breakfast for everyone.

I was just setting the pancakes, sausage, and eggs on the table when Obito walked in. "Hello Obito." I smiled.

"Hello" He looked at the food on the table. "I see you made breakfast."

I nodded "My way of saying thanks."

Hidan, Deidara, Kisame, Kakuzu, Sasori, and Itachi walked into the kitchen. Itachi, who hadn't met, just stood there looking at me with no readable emotion on his face. Same with Sasori. Kakuzu looked at the food, then looked at me. "This didn't cost any extra money did it?"

I shook my head no, and Kakuzu sat down at the table. Itachi sat down across from him, Kisame sat next to Itachi. Hidan sat as far away from Kakuzu as he could, and Sasori sat down next to Kakuzu. I was only able to sit next to Hidan, as Obito had taken the seat next to Sasori, but I didn't really see anything wrong with this.

They all took helping of the eggs, sausage and pancakes. "This stuff is amazing! Un."

I smiled. "I'm glad you like it." I then noticed the rosary that Hidan was wearing. It looked very interesting.

Hidan didn't notice me looking at his necklace, he was too focused on his food.

Itachi and Kisame were conversing quietly, while Sasori and Kakuzu were still silent. Obito had already finished and returned to his desk, writing on scrolls.

Hidan looked up from his food, finally noticing how I was looking at his necklace, he mistakenly thought that I was looking at his exposed chest and grinned. "Hey chick, I know I'm hot, but you don't have to stare."

I jumped "I-I'm sorry, I was just looking at your necklace… I've never seen that symbol before."

Hidan frowned "It's the Jashinist symbol, you know, Jashin?" He obviously wasn't very pleased with this.

"Jashin… no, I've never heard of Jashin." I was curious though. "Could you tell me who he is?"

"How can you not know who Jashin is?! He's God!" Hidan stood up.

"God?" I finished, and stood up as well. Not, a good move.

"Oh so you want to fight?!" Hidan went to get his three bladed scythe.

I quickly shook my head. "No, I don't want to fight. Really"

It was too late, Hidan was running straight at me, brandishing his scythe. I ran away, outside, followed by Obito and Hidan. Obito was simply watching. Hidan cornered me between two large rocks. "Die!" He swung his scythe down at me; I raised my arms in defense. A blinding blue light flashed in the clearing. Hidan growled "What did you do?!"

I opened my eyes, it had happened again. Hidan was frozen solid, with the exception of his head. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to… it just does that when I'm in danger…"

Hidan was seething with anger. "Get me the hell out of this ice chunk! Its freaking cold!"

I stood up "Okay, I wi-"

Obito walked over to me, cutting me off. "That wouldn't be smart, he would try to kill you afterwards. Just leave him to thaw out." He glared pointedly at Hidan, who was yelling profanities at them.

"O-Ok..." I followed Obito as he walked off. He was the only one I completely trusted.