View Full Version : Scar of oblivion

01-22-2012, 11:27 AM
AN: My first fic, yay! I have read several so I thought I would give an idea of mine a try. I will do longer chapters later on.
This is the link to the Review/Comments thread for this fic: http://otaku-streamers.com/community/showthread.php?11504-Reviews-Comments-for-Scar-of-Oblivion

As of now I don't have a pairing in mind so if you have any suggestions or questions period send me a private message.

* - demon actions
*" -demon speaking
*( - demon thoughts
"" - human speaking
( - human thoughts

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Ch.1 To tear the land asunder

It was over

…. The fourth shinobi war was finally over…

But the wrong side had won..

“Naruto, you are such a foolish boy. You could have stopped this before I killed all of your so called ‘precious people’.”Madara looked down upon the broken form of what seemed to be a burn victim.

“You should have known the fires of Ameterasu couldn’t be stopped!” Madara continues to look down upon the sight in humor and superiority.

(Naruto feels empty… he has nothing left but someone mocking him.)
(“I tried so hard”, “why wasn’t it enough?” “I have lost everyone and I couldn’t stop it!” “I have failed…”)

Madara summons the Gedo Mezo in order to complete the extraction.

“Boy, you failed everyone you held dear so let me be the one to punish you!”

Naruto is flung into the air and a force holds him still. Then a ghostly tendril leaks from the mouth of the statue and connects to Naruto.

(Naruto feel pain, as if his soul is being shredded apart. Yet, he cannot shed a tear for he has lost all emotion. He knows only pain, his earliest memories were of beatings and hate. If it weren’t for the Sandaime being kind to the boy he would have been the demon they all wanted. Then and until now he always was grateful of the old hokage for that. But now, he can’t help but sneer at the mention of kindness when it only causes more pain. Due to wanting and reciprocating the kindness around him he slowly gained loved ones. Pain, the only real hurt he can never push aside is when someone he loves is taken from him. He feels betrayed.)

(“Is this what I get for holding it all in?” “Have I really been living the wrong way?”)
*The great demon knew the end was near, it sneered at the thought.*

*( Kyuubi thinks to himself “Damn human having me die with him after showing such weakness!”)
*(”You whelp!” “How dare you fail and condemn me to such an end!”)*

(“….what could I do.” Naruto mutters nearly inaudible.”)

*”You could have killed that trash when you had the chance!” “This so
called brother of yours decimated and defiled your pink-haired weakling of a mate!” “If you had killed him when you had the chance then she and many more would be breathing!”*

(“I have lost everything and as always you never change.” “I should have killed him.””It all started with his quest for revenge didn’t it?” “No, if I weren’t so weak in spirit and ideals this wouldn’t have happened!”)

*The demon, despite being angry, is shocked. Not even in the moment before death would he have forseen the boy renouncing his weak ways.*


(“What!” “I have nothing now, let me die seeing the few good memories I have!”)
*(“I won’t die like this!” “I refuse to go out without taking that filth with me!”)*

(“If you have a way then I could maybe find some peace in the afterlife after all.”)

The extraction has been nearly completed. Madara feels the energies nearing its final stages.

“The world is now within my grasp!” Madara finalizes his hand-seals and pushes his chakra into the seal on his stomach. A black opaque tendril comes from the forehead of the statue and connects with the seal.

Madara keeps the boy help up by the tendril of the statue almost as a joke in order to keep him alive to mock him for as long as possible.

*(“Since we are about to die we can use my only last resort technique boy.” “The reason this is a last resort is that the cost is for the essence of our souls to literally evaporate.”)*

(If Naruto heard the Kyuubi no Yoko he didn’t show it. He felt dead already so he didn’t care)

Madara absorbed the last amount of the bijuu energies from the statue.

“It’s been fun Naruto!” “You’ve have greatly entertained me and now it’s time for you to die.” With a sneer Madara was calling upon the primal energy to erase the charred form in front of him.

(“Do it kyu.”)

*Kami no Youso : Kaesu Boukyaku no Kanata ni!*-God element: Return to Oblivion


The world’s motion froze. Life stilled. The energy of the land stirred.

And then..

Reality tore.

A horrible ripping sounds came from all across the world. At the base of the statue a dark line appeared. Quickly yet seeming to take it’s time as if stalking it’s prey the line made its way towards Madara through the very air.

Madara looks upon the tear in horror. He tries to call upon his dojutsu to leave but cannot seem to move physically or spiritually.

The line then passes through Madara in one dark jagged path. The sheer pain shown on his face is proof of the absolute end of the Uchiha clan.

The line continues and slows down as it reaches the edge of the Elemental Continent on opposite ends.

(“Been great Kyu, maybe in another life we could have been true rivals.”)

*(“Hmph, pathetic human you could never be my rival.” “You may be a whelp, but you were still better than any other on this world.”)*

(Naruto laughs to himself knowing that’s the best he could get from the demon even in death.)

(“See you on the other side Kyuubi!”)

The dark tear spread as if a plaque across the land. Dark lines erupted from the base of the statue to every corner and edge of the land.

The sky and earth itself…

Everything of the Elemental Nations violently compressed upon the epicenter of the tear.

Then in a great upheaval the land smashed upon itself until it was nothing.

There was only a whirlpool left permanently etched upon the ocean to show that there was once a land mass there where this monstrous force of nature now stood. The sky above had a massive wind funnel from the center of the whirlpool to the outer reaches of the planet’s atmosphere.

The Shinobi Nations were erased from the world.


With a gasp a 4 year old boy woke up in his bed. He looks at his hands and tries to slow his breathing.

“What was that?” The child had a sudden vision of a calamity.

“All those lines…” The boy trembled in fear of what he had seen. The child got out of bed to go to the sink in his bathroom across the room.

As he came upon the sink he turned on the lights and turned the knob for a stream of cool water to pour. As he washed his face he calmed gradually. Sure he was scared of whatever it was he saw, but he just can’t believe something like that as real. So as he shutoff the facet he looked into the mirror and stared into his own cerulean blue eyes. He traced his fingers over his facial marks in habitual curiosity.

Something dark appeared to move at the edge of his vision.

He turned around and didn’t see anything.

The boy walked towards where he thought he saw movement.

Once more something seemed to move at the edge of his sight.

He turned around again quickly as he started to panic and back up towards the wall of his bedroom looking all around for whatever had been moving.

He felt something on his hands.

As he raised his right arm to the dim light coming from the bathroom he gasped in fright and shock.

There upon his right arm starting from the center of the back of his hand was a 3 inch long jagged black line.

Rate and Review please! =D

AN: any questions/concerns/suggestions send me a private message please.
Next chapter will be longer I promise!