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hikari izumi

always end up feeling isolated

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for as long as i can remember i haven't gotten along with other people because they didn't like me and i didn't like them i'm not one of those people who was ever in a little cliche of friends because i have never been comfortable with other people at all and i got sick of people always telling me to put myself out there and make friends which is something i still hate.even now i hardly bother with other people because they dont understand me they just think that im some depressed loner which is the only thing they ever got right about me (but who wouldn't be depressed if they had been through the same as me anyway that's a long story and i wont go in to it on here)

the few friends i have are on the net because i find it easier to talk to them plus alot of them live abroad so i spend most of my time talking to them on social networking sites believe me its alot easier than talking face to face with someone you dont really know.its just nice to be around people who dont judge you and its nice to be around people where you dont feel as if you have to pretend to be happy all the time which is a real relief when you suffer from really bad depression but i some times feel really isolated from everyone so i end up just staying away from everyone because im sure that they are all sick of hearing my problems which i really cant blame them for in the least because i know how hard it is to try and be my friend im just sick of always putting my burdens on everyone else
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Comments

  1. error345's Avatar
    error345 -
    I can relate to what you are saying, that's also why i like social networks, depression's just the tip of it...
  2. jeejeexi's Avatar
    jeejeexi -
    i can so much relate on that.. thou i have some friends which i can depend on.. one day you'll find someone who's willing to listen to every burdens you have.. just like my bestfriends. :>
  3. Quaesitum's Avatar
    Quaesitum -
    Feeling isolated is so crummy; I'm really sorry you feel that way. I can definitely relate, though - with that and the depression. I think everyone feels isolated or suppressed in their own way but it is absolutely harder to deal with if you feel like you can't depend on anyone. At least you haven't isolated yourself completely, right? That's something to feel a little optimistic about. Besides, with how technology is these days, it's easier to be "real" with those on social networks because you can say exactly what you mean instead of that terrible social pressure that comes with face-to-face conversation with people who you aren't necessarily comfortable around.

    Even still, try to keep your chin up. It's a lot easier said than done, I know. But just remember that those who stay around (face-to-face or online) are there because they want to be - not because they feel sorry for you or because they feel somehow obligated to speak with you.
  4. hikari izumi's Avatar
    hikari izumi -
    i feel like passing out everytime im around big groups of people it's like my heart beats out of my chest it's really a horrible feeling to be only twenty one and having no life which doesn't help me make friends with people or create bonds.i even get freaked out on skype as sad as that sounds but i have one friend from japan who tries to talk to me regularly when he gets the time it's just hard to be like this when all you want to do is be normal and live a normal life like everyone else does.

    i just don't want to rely on someone only to burden them or scare them away i have made that mistake to many times in the past and it isn't fair on anyone i really do try and be optimistic about things and i have tried to be out going but it's difficult for me.i have tried to be more likeable and even went on this stupid therapy course thing but that didn't really work out to well because i had a bunch of people talking down to me and telling me how they think i should feel and that visualization should help me which made me feel kinda dumb but at least i can say i tried to do something to get me out of this bind i guess even if it didn't give me the results i hoped for.

    ☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆. .:*・°☆
  5. musikalles's Avatar
    musikalles -
    okay wow, I am relating to much of what you say and it only makes me want to hug you.

    Find out what makes you feel safe, and embrace it. Find out what challenges you, and ease in to it. Find out what you don't need, and understand that you don't actually need it.

    This may take time, and it's a non-stop process. But you'll get to a place that makes you'll like being in, in time. :)
  6. hikari izumi's Avatar
    hikari izumi -
    awww that's sweet =^_^=