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  1. #1
    Above Normal


    jeiru01's Avatar
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    Default Reviews and Comments for Dead World (OS Zombie)

    Post your reviews and comments for Dead World (OS Zombie) here.

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  2. #2
    OS Veteran coldground93's Avatar
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    wow awesome prologue maoyuri.

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  3. #3
    Kuuhaku


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    You sure know how to attract people interest. This is a great prologue as well.

  4. #4
    [~The Darkness Himself~] darkheart005's Avatar
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    Awesome mao-chan!! .. Can't wait for the main story xDD

  5. #5
    The bane of your potato. SoulTaku's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by maoyurui View Post
    January 21, 2012
    Incidents of nuclear powered plants due to absence of human intervention have melted down. Countries, that has been over run and has relied on nuclear power, like the United States has lost the majority of its electrical power. Communications and transportation capabilities that are already down last year has now mostly been lost. By calculations of UN and OS experts, the world and its society will finally crumble in two more years.
    nice prologue :D

    but I think that part should be in 2013

  6. #6
    Void Keeper maoyurui's Avatar
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    Can't Believed I just read this today

    Anyway thanks for the comments. Oh and Thank you for pointing out the 2012 mistake. I already did fix that the same day I posted the Prologue.

    As for chapter 1, I'm currently working on it. Revising things as I go. Although I have to admit it has gotten longer. Anyway the delay is mostly because of the lack of characters and illustrations. Although the illustrations is a minor part of the novel, I really wanted some illustrators to participate in this en devour. None the less everything is going steady.

    Hopefully when I post the first chapter it will be decent enough for people to read.

    @mlcdl
    Thank you for your compliment. Although I doubt I have the ability you say I have. But thank you for thinking so.
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  7. #7
    究極のOSガーディ ン Lyff87's Avatar
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    it was good COOL..!!

  8. #8
    Ice Queen from Hell AraMichaelis's Avatar
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    Oh dear. This is awesome. I want mooooooooooooore. Mooooooooooooore.
    I wanna see you choke on your lies,
    swallow up your greed,
    suffer all alone in your misery.

  9. #9
    OS Veteran coldground93's Avatar
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    Awesome work mao.. I'm thinking of just doing my series.. I wanna see how yours will turn up.

    also curious about the Bloody Rain Incident and that green attack...

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  10. #10
    Junior Member Qienaaaaaaa's Avatar
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    It got me hooked on the first 2 paragraphs of the prologue, can't seem to want to read more. Story was even better than what I visualised from the prologue, so far. :D I'd like to read more of these. The pictures are wonderful too.

    「夢とはゴール。希望はゴールまで っ張ってくれる燃料。」
    "Dreams are goals. Hope is the fuel that will take us there."
    - nano

  11. #11
    Void Keeper maoyurui's Avatar
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    @coldground93
    Aw... Thanks. I'm just glad it's readable, But I do have to admit that I did have some help with people on the cleaning. Writing things and doing some of the art and rendering plus IRL things are really taxing. I stayed away from complicated words as much as I can. I want the readers to read it as if it was something simple and give them a sense that they can actually write themselves or even something better.

    As for writing your own. I have already figured that instead of doing just chapters, Books would be better. That way any writer can freely write-up anything in their style without being restricted by the things written down by previous writers. This was characters that will be used will be given a chance to take a spotlight depending on the writer's will to use them. As of now I'm trying to relax a bit. I already have chapter one's part 2 and 3 drafted but not yet cleaned and organized. I'm still waiting for illustrators so that the load on me will be easy XD. I can't wait for your Book coldground93. I bet it will be awesome.

    As for the "Bloody Rain Incident" it will be part of the story that will be part of the writings I will do. But to understand it better I will have to do some mini-series that will be tied-in with the main story. Of course staring some of the characters I used in the main story of my book. I'm planning to add more mystery, intrigue and tons of conspiracy and of course some hints of romance and WTF moments in my stories that might help future writers derive scenes perfect for their story arcs and cross-overs to other writer's writings.

    Lastly I'm going to make the "Greens" a top secret ehehehe... I already give hints of the "Whites" and the "Oranges" with some classifications. But maybe I have some more surprised in-stored.

    @Qienaaaaaaa
    Your first sentence "It got me hooked on the first 2 paragraphs of the prologue, can't seem to want to read more." Got me a bit confused? what do you mean you got hooked but can't read more...?

    Anyway thank you for having an interest on my work. But the credit doesn't just belong to me. The story might be mine but the characters are inspired by the people who actually participated so If my work comes out good then I'm glad I did justice to their characters. There are more characters in the list that are just waiting to be used on the story and rest assure I'll try my best to make the best out of them for readers such as yourself. Thank you again.
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  12. #12
    Junior Member Qienaaaaaaa's Avatar
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    @mao: XD sorry was distracted when I read it. I think I confused myself too. This is what happens when I try to sound mature D: good job anyway, can't wait for updates :s
    And uhm.. There's one part in the prologue "they have contracted a new type of virus similar in nature to a N1H1 but not of the same strand" do you mean H1N1? @_@ Just wanting to clarify.

    「夢とはゴール。希望はゴールまで っ張ってくれる燃料。」
    "Dreams are goals. Hope is the fuel that will take us there."
    - nano

  13. #13
    Void Keeper maoyurui's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qienaaaaaaa View Post
    @mao: XD sorry was distracted when I read it. I think I confused myself too. This is what happens when I try to sound mature D: good job anyway, can't wait for updates :s
    And uhm.. There's one part in the prologue "they have contracted a new type of virus similar in nature to a N1H1 but not of the same strand" do you mean H1N1? @_@ Just wanting to clarify.
    the N1H1 and H1N1 virus is the same. I google it and I like the N1H1 than the H1N1. If you type N1H1 it will actually show H1N1 also.
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  14. #14
    [~The Darkness Himself~] darkheart005's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by coldground93 View Post
    Awesome work mao.. I'm thinking of just doing my series.. I wanna see how yours will turn up.

    also curious about the Bloody Rain Incident and that green attack...
    Yeah me too... I was also curious about what happened to my character xDD
    But the Master Mind shall show us the path xDD
    Cause now… we live in a… <Dead world>

  15. #15
    Kuuhaku


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    Putting the funny side, you killed the comedy moment I was waiting when I learned about "Dark" personality. That part totally ruined it for me because I want to see him to mess with the "Captain". I know that this isnt suppose to have comedy but I just wanted to point out my opinion.

    Putting that aside, its very entertaining and easy to read.

  16. #16
    Void Keeper maoyurui's Avatar
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    @mlcdl
    Oh you will see more of "Dark's" Character. There will be a bit of comedy in the story but it will come when the moment comes. I just wanted the people to understand Ara's personality and having Dark a past connecting with her will make people realize how Ara can be so cold. Just look at this way, a guy like Dark who is a pro on the field and "Other Fields" so to speak can't even hold a candle against her. So just imagine what kind of comedic friction you would see between those two. Also on behalf of those who helped me on this little project Thank you for reading it and for the praise.
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  17. #17
    [~The Darkness Himself~] darkheart005's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by maoyurui View Post
    @mlcdl
    Oh you will see more of "Dark's" Character. There will be a bit of comedy in the story but it will come when the moment comes. I just wanted the people to understand Ara's personality and having Dark a past connecting with her will make people realize how Ara can be so cold. Just look at this way, a guy like Dark who is a pro on the field and "Other Fields" so to speak can't even hold a candle against her. So just imagine what kind of comedic friction you would see between those two. Also on behalf of those who helped me on this little project Thank you for reading it and for the praise.
    @mao....Trolololol..... Have fun making my character Fun xDD ...
    Cause now… we live in a… <Dead world>

  18. #18
    Need uploading? PM Me.
    gala1221's Avatar
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    Frigging awesome :D I'm starting to picture lots of stuff in my mind, mainly zombies lol..

    Awesome illustrations, and also, it kinda reminds me of ZombieLand where you have to follow this rule called Double Tap =p.

    Now I really wanna see you try selling this. I would buy it if I could :)

    Edit1: Given that it is not like the Black or White Zone where because of circumstances satellites cannot see through, the unpredictability of the dangers in the Red Zone is still high enough to live ordinary soldiers a run for their money. He and some of his men particularly his former adjutant knows how dangerous the Red Zone is. They have visited the Red Zone more times than anyone send into it. They lost good soldiers there.

    I think it should be give ordinary soldiers a run for their money.

    Edit2: You should also probably create a content page with link backs so we can access them easier and you can also edit them easier :D
    Last edited by gala1221; 06-19-2012 at 07:21 AM.

  19. #19
    Void Keeper maoyurui's Avatar
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    @gala
    Thank you for reading my work. I'm glad you found it readable. As for your 1st comment about "live" and "give" I thank you for noticing it. Frankly speaking I'm glad to hear people at times point out my mistakes. That way I can make things better for those who appreciate my work. I will change it ASAP. I have to admit though that there are mistakes in some phrases or spellings in my work. I'm not really a pro writer and when I do write I do have some people who does the checking. But as of this work of mine I really don't have any checkers helping me and with the illustrations and IRL things my attention is pretty much spread thin. I did had some help when I posted my work but they are not exactly full checkers. Hopefully more people will join in the ban wagon to volunteer in being checkers, writers and Illustrators. Hence the original reason why I made this story. To promote community participation to OS members, give talented illustrators, writers and in the words of jeiru01 the wordnazis (Sorry forgot the exact word he used for it XD) a chance to hone their skills by using this little project of mine. Also I want people here on OS to enjoy something more than just streaming, that is to let them enrich their imagination just by reading.

    Again on behalf of those who worked with me, we give you my thanks.
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  20. #20
    究極のOSガーディ ン Lyff87's Avatar
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    tnks for all of it

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