Paperroses

I've had this overwhelming feeling of having to be busy recently. I don't know if it's right or wrong but I know that I always want to be doing something nao a days. So I've picked up two old hobbies that I thought I forgot about: Origami and Scanlating.

Origami, something that I've been doing since I was a kid. Scanlation, the thing that really got me anchored into all this otaku business. Two things that have really affected my life. I wonder why I left, I wonder what brought me back. Why is it only nao that I feel like spending my time like this?

Confusing. Maybe that's just the flow of things. Maybe my life is turning into a giant pendulum. I can't remember what I spent my time doing before I started folding paper again. Maybe I *did* have things to keep me busy back then, or maybe I just paid less attention. Either way, I hope I don't get too busy to keep writing or do my school work. That's what scanlation used to do. I hope it isn't as demanding as it used to be.

I've been missing photoshop lately, I missed how I could manuever so easily between everything I needed, I missed being able to do so much with such control. And origami, I don't think I really missed anything. But it's just so relaxing. I think I only stopped because I made myself the excuse that there was no way for me to get any better at it. I just realized nao though, that I just didn't look hard enough. I guess the reason I started both things up again is because I miss having so much control and just being good at something. And I think I know why.

I have recently reached master level in tetris. Well... At least as master as I care to get.

What bothers me though, is when you get this good, you don't even think anymore. The only thing you think about is your mistakes and what you should have done, then that information gets put back in your subconscious for you to use later. I guess it could be something to be proud of but nao, when I play tetris, I feel like an animal. Or a machine. The pieces are moving so fast that there's no way I could consciously keep up with them. Everything is instinct, everything is impulse. At first I was amazed, later it became normal, nao it's kind of disgusting. Might just be the mood I'm in but it even scares me a little. So good at tetris that it's become natural.

Lol, what a rant. So what does this have to do with Origami and Scanlation? Well, I'm giving up on tetris but I like the feeling of surpassing my limits. I want to get better at things but I don't like tetris anymore. Yeah, talking about tetris made me lose my train of thought but I think I understand why I'm switching hobbies nao. I think I was going to talk about something else too, but I forgot.

Life is cool.