Parents

You know... sometimes I like to think about what the world would be like without me...

Mom and dad would have 2 less mouths to feed (since I eat a lot), and one less person to shout to about stopping whatever he's doing, + one less person to worry about

My Best-friend would stop thinking about the negative side and me, and be an ultra-mega playboy...

My girlfriend would've fell in love with another guy who's better than me...

My best-friend ...