Crushes who are OBLIVIOUS TO UR FEELINGS....

[lightsideXD]

okay guys help me!!! i've been single for at least 6 weeks now, and i thought i would stay single. so i am...

well a week ago, i was talking to my friend om myspace, and he is all like " well you should meet my friend" and, like the dumb-a i always am, i said yes.

well, we kinda went out ( as friends) with a group, and me and him talked ALL NIGHT!!!
and i really thought we clicked

well, a couple of days after that, i met him at the store ( for nosy people, i met him at wall mart) haha it was so funny , cause it was weird and my mom was staring the 2 of us down ( my step dad was giving him a thumbs up and made my mom leave us and stuff) so then we started talking about this and that, stupid stuff really like spongebob, and then i left him cause my mom was screaming my name down the lanes or whatever u call them. so i had to leave.

So my mom , step dad and i were just leaving the store, and he came up behind me and said IN MY EAR with his sexy deep voice that made me wanna..... (stay on topic !!!) anyways he said " hey can i get ur number so i can txt and call ya??"
i said yes...

well we talk all the time and we always hang out,
but recently, he started talking about some girl (lets call her Jane) and how he really likes her and stuff.... *sobs* and then ALL 3 OF US STARTED TO HANG OUT TOGETHER!!! and i can see that she is the type of girl that most guys like, i mean great tan, beautiful eyes...and her voice is so pretty and she is so nice so that when i tried to hate her i just couldn't. AND NOW WERE LIKE FRIGGIN BEST FRIENDS!! and i mean she is a great friend and all but sometimes it gets weird because she talks about him and everything, and i try my BEST not to let EITHER OF THEM to find out how i feel...but it gits hard...

well then aren't dating, but HE NEVER LOOKS AT ME ANY MORE!!! and when he does its like he says " oh Jane does that to.." or " haha jane was looking at that yesterday.."
WHY WONT THEY JUST HURY UP AND GO OUT ALLREADY!!?!?!

im scared because i would rather have his friendship than anything in the world...

what should i do...???

[nostalgia823]

yeah,,, what should we do???

HELP!

[avich]

yeah,,, what should we do???

HELP!

Huh, what do you mean by we? ^^

@TS

This is one of the cases where if you really pursue your heart, it might damage the friendship you guys have. But if you really love him, then it is really hard to be the middle person.

Try telling him what you feel about him out of the blue. You might not get the answer your looking for on the spot so be ready for that. If it bothers him then that's good (yey) but if not then it is time for you to move on. The longer you stay, the harder it is to let go.

[yoyoyoyou]

You may still remain being friends with him, if you can stand it. Although I don't think it wouldn't be worth it, since you'll end up getting hurt. He or Jane might end up talking to you, if one of them has a problem with the other, and you might get caught in the middle D:.

If you can't stand it, you have two options. One is either confront him with your feelings [but I don't think the outcome will be good :|]. Screw that, don't do it unless you think you have a chance. The other option would be letting him be. If he's too blind to see such a girl as you, he may not be worth it. Maybe you could wait [but not too long!], or watch out for other guys.

Sorry, if this isn't of much help -_-.

[nostalgia823]

@chivs, i have problems like that too..haaha thats y i said that barney-sama! heehe

[vivien]

As you said in your story, the boy likes Jane but I don't really get the idea that why he did not look up to you anymore....what is his problem????

Well...I think you must confront him and ask him the reason why he avoided you....

^_^

[zevlag21]

my advice is that you should not expect too much... it happens all the time it is already normal... so give him a moe protection device that would be effective... hehehe... moe moe kyun...

[scasia]

I experienced this before, it hurts....

For me, I think the best way is to keep silent about our silent. Bury it in your heart, and let him be happy if you can stand it. Because, both of them know you and when they have trouble, they will ask you to make it clear I think...
But if you can't stand it, try to confess your feeling.

[AiChan]

Agree with avich there.

Try to ask yourself what you value the most, friendship or love.
Then take the necessary step if the result isn't that good and the situation says that you should move on, just move on.

Heck, as what they say there's plenty fish in the sea. They, not me okay xD

[nostalgia823]

ahaahahha true so many fish in the water,,,but they are sooooo damn hard to catch!!!

[AiChan]

Yeah I know. That's how life is, even love isn't fair =/

We just have to accept what is given to us 'cause forcing someone to love us wouldn't be a good idea. Well if you want that idea suit yourself, but that wouldn't be called love and you're just wasting your wonderful time to a person who doesn't love you at all. =/

[avich]

haha, then the best thing to do is just to find a nice comfortable spot(under a tree), throw a bait in the water and stick the fishing rod on the ground, and relax and enjoy life(no use anticipating or staring at the water XD). Eventually a fish would come...or not

[nostalgia823]

ahahahaah thats a good idea though barney-sama, hmmm , ill go get my fishing rod and my bait,,ahahah

*patiently waiting for someone to come*

[AiChan]

Hahaha. LOL!!! You should put a nice bait on it to have the fish be tricked. xD teehee.

[bootwhistle]

Hmm, my two cents is... actually kinda broke right now so it'll have to be one cent, anyways...

I know it's pretty hard but more than likely the best thing is to try and get their thoughts or find out how they feel - also hard because feelings DO change.
Since oblivious people are so much fun to deal with the direct course of action is probably best, just simply ask 'Hey, wanna just go on a date sometime?' and be honest, say 'I like you and would like the chance to be more than just friends' (though tack on stuff about staying friends if it doesn't work out etc).
If they say they like someone else of course it will be devastating... but at least you know. Stay friends by honestly wishing them happiness (even if it isn't with you) and given time you'll find someone else.... at least that's the theory anyway if all romantic comedies are to be believed.

The indirect route would be to talk to the other girl about it first, then you may have a common ally to figure out what the dense guy wants... at the very least you can have someone who may be going through the exact same thing to talk to.

Hmm, then again this is all just random advice, you know the situation best go with your gut or intuition.. or flip a coin or something.... more than the end result just decide what you want and make a decision, life is pretty long so even if it turns out to be the wrong one you'll just get it right the next time :)

[lightsideXD]

The longer you stay, the harder it is to let go.


yeah thanks for the tip,

@bootwhistle: thanks.... i really think that that would be the best way to do it....
i will call "jane" tonight...... but what if i lose her friendship??

@AiChan : yeah this morning, i wrote a list about all the things that i loved and hated about him ( i saw this in a movie and thought it might work...) they said that if the good out-weigh the bad, then he is worth telling your feelings

...

im seeing him tonight (without "Jane") and i will tell him my feelings...

thank you for the help, i reallly appreciate it
but they are 2 meanings to this post
i was desperate for advice, but i also wanted for you to share of the same things happened to you. YOU DONT HAVE TOO, but i wanted to know what you did in that situation...

THANKS TO ALL THAT POSTED

Lightside ( re-chan)

[ayhencute]

I can't give an advice^_^
Im bad at giving advice in terms of relationship or love xD

[Bindu1000]

Hi there ... I may have seen this too late but having been in a somewhat similar place, I say there are 4 ways to go about a situ like this
1) Tell him how you feel (to hell with the friendship and everything and go for the kill. If it doesn't work you lose both friends, but you have no regrets
2) Find out how they actually feel about each other and then play them against each other so they end up angry and turn to you for comfort and then you have the guy as your bf and the girl as your friend (to my eternal shame I did that too and I succeeded and hated myself so much I ended up walking away from both - so not a good idea)
3) Tell her you have a crush on him. If she likes him, she will stop being your friend, but if she values your friendship and doesn't like him that much, she will stay away from him and give you the chance with him.
4) Walk away from the whole mess which is my personal choice. You cannot be friends with someone you have a crush on. It will colour your friendship and you will be on a constant emotional roller-coaster. Also if the two of them start dating and get all lovey-dovey, you will be miserable!!!! And then you will stay away from them anyway (as who wants friends who make you miserable) and they will realise why and you will be embarrassed. Stay friends but stop hanging out. Leave it on the back burner and if they dont work out, either one will come back to being good friends with you in the end

[lightsideXD]

@bindu: thanks and no, u werent to late. i chickened out when he told me that jane was coming too. about the playing them against each other, i wont do that cause i have had that done to me, and it hurts like hell. what i did do is that i told jane that i had like him, but i cared about her more and want going to let some dude ( which i still love) come between us.we decided that it was wise to let him date jane first, and - i would be supporting all the way-see how that turned out. i found that this had made our friendship bond even stronger, and we are more like sisters now. i feel like i have gained more and lost less in this situation.

thank you everyone

[Njaaks]

In my exp

If you relly like him you should tell him...

See i had this huge crush in one of my best friend ( a girl), for years... I didnt have the curage to tell her. That kept me waiting and hoping for years. I even got in a bad state of depression. She went out with one of my best friends too for about a half year. That was the worst ( the guy knew i had feelings for her and he knows i still havent forgive him).

So then i finnaly told her how i feel... Tho i knew the answer before she could tell me ( it was: we are friends etc.) it helped me to get over her.

With your case it might not be the same answer so i suggest you to talk to him.


Good luck

[adampeach]

just be blunt about it with him cause let me tell you from a guys point of view we don't usually ask for girls numbers to be "just" friends so obviously theres a connection and if i'm wrong then i'm sorry for bad advice since i've been single my entire 21 yrs of life. on a lighter note wouldn't it be the funniest thing if one of the males replying to this post was him and he says to go for it not knowing it's you talking about him http://otaku-streamers.com/os_signature.php?id=2253 (http://otaku-streamers.com)

[Bindu1000]

Hey - glad you took my advise. I think your on the right track, but I also think you need to find new friends to hang out with as when they get more into each other, you will be like a 3rd wheel and it will hurt more. It will be good if you slowly reduce your dependency on them as time goes on

A bit of advise - in the event things dont work out between Jane and him, dont think you can take her place, as he will always compare and the relationship will get messy she will get ticked off and you will lose both. So now its time to find new and greener pastures :1:

All the best!!

[lightsideXD]

@adampeach : yeah it would be funny if that had happened... (kinda makes me wonder)

@ bindu: Thanks as always...

gosh.. well i do think it does kinda hurt, being around them and (oh by the way they ARE GOING OUT AS OF NOW).. but know that i think about it, i think it would be best to just lay low for a while and not tell him how i feel, until i think its time to tell him the truth.. (and of course when they break up) but then, what will happen to me and jane's friendship?? ya see that is what makes me worried.. god, sometimes i just wanna get away from it all... and ya know, it would be so ironic if i like someone else ( but i doubt that would happen)

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!! i can not thank you all enough for helping me....and if any of you have any problems, come to me and i will try to help!!!!

[FluffynpinK]

I have to say if they break up and you still want to be with him, then go for it.
Jane has had him and its not her say to control his and your happiness & what you two decide to do.
I honestly think that if someone is your true friend, they wouldn't get all mad if their friend decides to go out with their ex. What if it is true love?

But I guess it depends on the situation & if he has been mean to her in the relationship or something >.<

[smash03em]

tell him wat u fil.... a bad decision is better than no decision at all... i didn't read much but if they are in a relationship....well time to go FISHING...

[lightsideXD]

well they can have each other. i moved and ive been moved for like 2 months now and neither of them have called me.?? makes you wonder huh? oh well they can have each other. i guess they deserve each other.

[alucardiume]

your love sick babe... talk to a love doctor.. lol

Of course you say it to him. Its clearly said in your post that "JANE" is not quite into him. Well you didnt said they are dating, just a sweet group get along thingy and jane took you too so there are 3 of you, means she dont want to be alone with the guy you like. So Jane think of the guy only as a friend. It's your chance to show your feelings. If im wrong and they already have the initial "M.U.", it's up to you.. Friendship or LOVE.

for me i chose Friendship, because i value my friends most in that condition of yours so no one will get hurt. Except ME.. xD

[jhai0603]

I've been single all my life, and still don't plan to have one, so I guess I can't be of much help.

...but for all eternity, what matters is the LOVE, beybeh.
LOVE!!
L-O-V-E
haha

[emer333]

oh i know ask him who he likes? xD and if you can't do it, then i don't know then ..

[darkpoetry]

I think now that they are going out its best to stay low.
If their relationship doesnt workout then maybe you should start acting.

I personally don't think you should break it to him straight up.
If you just spill it then it would most likely come as a shock to him and leave him in a tight spot.
The best thing is to show that you are attacted to him (flurt)
So then if he kinda senses that you like him then its his choice to choose to encourage it or discourage it (flurt back or try keep things at the friends level)

Idk but telling him straight up looks like a hit or miss and if he didn't like you like that from before it would make things ackward

[lightsideXD]

Oh, my goodness. This happened such a long time ago. I am still young and stupid, but not as much as I was back then. It wasn't love, just a crush. I honestly can't remember their last names now, and I'm glad. I'm happy, and thank you to everyone who helped me by giving me advice! (and good grief, my grammar was horrible back then, it makes me cringe just to see it now.)