How/when do you know that a relationship is over?

[rinoa]

This is kind of a spin off of the 'first boyfriend/girlfriend' topic, but I've been in major think mode for the last couple of weeks about this. Sometimes the same routine is playing over and over and it seems like the relationship you're in is starting to repeat itself going nowhere special. How and when do you know that the relationship is over? Are there tell-tale signs or just something you realize when you wake up one morning?


I bring this up because my current relationship of 7 years feels like it's starting to just drone on. No doubt I love this guy to death, but I feel like the communication is starting to waver and sometimes I feel like the same 'how was your day' questions come out every time we speak with nothing else to talk about. I do admit that 7 years is a lot and I wonder if he's going to think about proposing or even marrying me. We have talked about marriage but it was one of those things you talk about with someone who you are in love with saying 'of course I'm going to marry you' kinda deal. It also doesn't help that he just got an entry position at a new job and now it's harder then ever to really talk and just be around each other. I guess what I'm saying is I need someone's advice and someone to talk to. Any type of advice would help. I'm kinda lost right now and would really want to find out what I want and what I should do. THANKS!!!

[DwinLylthx]

Hehe. I Don't Have nothing to do With That. I'm just a 12 years old Kid. I Think you Should Talk to Him and Clear Everything Out. I Think thats the Best Way :3

[KhenLee202]

i think im not in the position to give you advice since im just a 15 year old guy who hates love for secret reasons
i think you can feel if the relationship is going nowhere if you cant move on to the next step of relationship
or your kinda stuck like, i love you again and again but never i would live with you forever
7 years.... its kinda long already and since no progress huh?, tsk. tsk. tsk., it really hurts if this relationship ends up like a bummer
how about having a really really serious talk of what you are to him, like a marry me or leave me conversation

[notanotaku]

This is why the divorce/breakup trend is going up XD Some long relationship couples tend to break up 'cos they get 'bored' with each other later on in their life.

You only know your relationship is going to be over when both of you talk about it and btw, i hope you guys don't break up anyway. Plus, you have to understand that he is working but you can keep in touch like texting or give a call. Once a week going out together is really recommended to maintain a good relationship :) Hope this helps XD

[DwinLylthx]

This is why the divorce/breakup trend is going up XD Some long relationship couples tend to break up 'cos they get 'bored' with each other later on in their life.

I Agree. :3 Just what I've Heard in other People. There are many Married Couples Divorcing cause they are getting bored to each other and Looking for Another. >__<

[Shoutbux]

When the partner acts different than the usual ....if (s)he is meeting with other person its all over cause (s)he wont meet others unless (s)he is satisfied with you....

[evilwil]

For me, I think your relationship with the person would be over if that person doesnt want to see you even if (s)he is not busy, having many reasons not to tag along with you, being irritable when you talk with the person!

[kimono031]

Well, if you do notice that your relationship with your significant other has started to falter or has become less interesting, don't let it continue to happen. If you really love this guy, then it's best to talk things out and do activities that both of you like. I know it's hard to communicate and spend time with each other when his job is occupying a lot of his time, but something needs to be done. Also, is he aware of what's become of your relationship? If he isn't being assertive enough, then I guess it's up to you.

I don't know. Seven years is a long time. You might be at that "comfortable stage" where you both are just comfortable with each other and nothing new really happens. Anyways, I know I'm not in any position to say anything, but for having a relationship that long, it's a shame to just have it slowly end.

[error345]

well for me the relationship is over when things start to get dull and have nothing to say to each other, the bad thing is the more you know someone the easier it is for you to get mad at them for simple things, must be caring, well not to stray, but yea when you have nothing to talk about with the person so ease up on calling the person so days may past after even weeks before you know it its over, you see the person with somebody else, even if it hurts normally do once you care lol, cant do anything about it.. then you know for sure its over.. or either you're the one that moved on or now needs to

[trooper]

I think its when You and him/her will never be close again.. o.O? or something like Ignoring one another..

[elap1220]

Wow. I usually know my lady and I are done when she goes off the chain and starts throwing stuff. That could just be me :-)

[yurinino]

when he/she did not spend time with you even though he'she is not busy or..starting to ignore and don't talk to you not much..

[Reizero]

talk to him about it! it's the only way to really know and get through it.
best of luck to you both :)

[hailey]

hello rinoa.
ive been with my guy for 10 years... at one point about (hmm about 5 years ago) i also though it wasnt going anywhere, i felt that the love was still there but i wanted to travel and felt bored (even though i loved him) i wasnt sure if there was more out there for me.
well anyway i left him and went traveling to mexico. (im from england)
any way about 2 weeks in i was depressed and lonely for him i thought about him all the time and ended up knowing id made a massive mistake.
well he didnt speak to me for about a year as id obviously left him with no warning and would only say it was me not him.
but we met up agian and had a big talk, talking realy dose help, in fact because we talk about literaly everything that upsets us now, we comunicate much better.
we make sure to go out at least once a week thats only by ourselves...picnic, cinema or even just a walk. (not to the pub as friends hijack you away.) and we try to find a solution to things that annoy us about each other.
were now married and trying for a kid so if you love each other and can talk through your differences things will work out.
remember try not to say hurtfull things as they hurt both of you, ive often been at a point i wanted to just shout at my OH but i know it would just hurt me more. take time to calm down if you ever feel like shouting and calmly talk it out
good luck.

[byotch07]

I've been from several relationships. the longest was 3 years.
well. i could say the relationship is all over

-if you can feel the coldness in him/her.
-(s)he seems to be busy but with no significant reason.
-when (s)he would say. lets give ourselves time and space.
-when you feel that your the only one trying to save the relationship.
-when you want to reach out by talking to him/her and (s)he continues to avoid you.
-(s)he is changing.

always remember:

a simple talk can save a relationship if.. and only if.. both sides will be open in making things right.

[aprince19]

hmM... if he/she starts wanting to have his/her private times... when using his/her mobile phone he/she excuses... you feel having a distance or barrier between you two when talking.... always busy or not having much time for you :D

happens to me twice and this are the top signs and symptoms xD

[ichimongi123]

Im kinda like in the same position as you, but i tried to mix it up a little so that the same routine doesnt repeat itself over and over again, try putting some activities in your life and etc. like going on vacations and stuff like that. it works

[Kobowo]

This is kind of a spin off of the 'first boyfriend/girlfriend' topic, but I've been in major think mode for the last couple of weeks about this. Sometimes the same routine is playing over and over and it seems like the relationship you're in is starting to repeat itself going nowhere special. How and when do you know that the relationship is over? Are there tell-tale signs or just something you realize when you wake up one morning?


I bring this up because my current relationship of 7 years feels like it's starting to just drone on. No doubt I love this guy to death, but I feel like the communication is starting to waver and sometimes I feel like the same 'how was your day' questions come out every time we speak with nothing else to talk about. I do admit that 7 years is a lot and I wonder if he's going to think about proposing or even marrying me. We have talked about marriage but it was one of those things you talk about with someone who you are in love with saying 'of course I'm going to marry you' kinda deal. It also doesn't help that he just got an entry position at a new job and now it's harder then ever to really talk and just be around each other. I guess what I'm saying is I need someone's advice and someone to talk to. Any type of advice would help. I'm kinda lost right now and would really want to find out what I want and what I should do. THANKS!!!

I think this is one of those 7 year somethings that I saw on yahoo? Well honestly, the only sure telltale sign that a relationship is over is as simple as asking yourself "Do I still love him/her?" 'cuz if you say that you love him to death then it would mean any challenges that you may face together you could avoid. As to getting married and such, I do understand that its a guys responsibility to pop the question, but maybe there are just times where you need to let him know you are ready. You know just give him signs or something, doesnt have to be verbally said, could be done through actions I guess.

7 years is alot you know, and if you both were able to make it that far its amazing! You should be proud you made it so far. If you think its getting redundant then do something new. If there was something both of you wanted to do before that you couldn't do then do it! Or just add some variety to what you usually do. Eat what you don't normally eat, go to places you don't normally go to. Those stuff.

It may not be that you're getting tired of it. Maybe you're just looking for something more, the next step to it? I mean since its been 7 years you might be searching for the next end of the current relationship, marriage. Who knows, maybe you're bf is getting your ring ready. Keep hopeful. Who knows, maybe by a few days months or weeks you'll just be standing in front of him, tears about to well up 'cuz he's kneeling in front of you, popping that question you want to hear :>

Well thats it for me, Just some advise that I hope might help you haha, happy new year! :D

[akira sendo]

its when all communications gone and you dont care how things are goin between you two and you really dont care who's with him or her and you dont feel hurt anymore and along with that feeling that you dont hurt anymore is the fact that love isn't also there anymore. -_- anymore anymore anymore... XD

[iHoriz0n]

Well, in my own opinion, i think that perhaps you need to think it over about this relationship, seven years is really long, but making sure that he loves you like he did the first time he said he did is the thing you probably should do or you to your boyfriend. There are really not much of tell tales signs of a relationship felling apart at the first glance though, but when you start to have doubt in the relationship, i guess things just start going downhill from there. I believe love is about trust, feelings and all those wonderful and dreadful things that make love so mysterious, but when that kind of feeling just dies off, maybe it could that he/she is not the one for you. I have no experience in this whatsoever, i'm just a newbie in this area, but as of now, somehow i know that i loved him so much, it is hard to explain, just pure instinct and feeling.

Maybe you need to talk to him about it, or try distancing yourself from him for a while, they always say, distance only makes the heart grow fonder, maybe after all these years, time has not yet washed away the initial feeling that you had towards him. But of course, i'm not really encouraging you to do it, i'm just voicing my own opinion ;D in any ways, i'm will be there if you need someone to talk to, in SB or you could add me as friend and maybe chat a bit XDD