I need some advice on how to confess love

[Hidekiyuki]

Well I got a love problem here...

I just don't know but I feel I really like this girl and I like her so much that I really want her to be my girlfriend and Im trying to make her mine all this time...

But I feel like it's already too late, I hope there is still a way to make her mine. Well I met her last June and (wasnt inlove that time yet) but I think when October came I felt like Im getting close to her and talking to her always then Febuary she agreed to let me take her to a batch night... something like that

After that night it feels like shes slippin away from me and we dont talk that much anymore and it feels like shes not interested and I cant afford to say a story that would make her laugh anymore.

Well we had a conversations about crushes and she told me that "She thinks its better when you say you like someone when youre still beginning to know her because if you let time walk by... it will be too late and all she will think of you is a FRIEND"

AND I REALLY FEEL ITS LATE! I know there is still a way... the must be a way... I hope there is still a way... I wish its not TOO LATE... I even wrote her a song but I don't know how will I confess to her. I dont know how to sing, I wish I could make her fall cuz shes absolutely the girl Im looking for. haaaa! =_=

[awa1122]

give her something she wants...

[Hidekiyuki]

I dont know what she wants... I cant ask her lolz

[CythilVen]

Be a friend, always be there for her.
About confessing love, it really depends on the mood :3
You can give her flowers if you want :3
Don't think that shes not interested.
If shes not, most girls will avoid you or won't share their idea about crushes.
Chin up bro :goodjob:

[GreenDestiny]

Of course there is a way, your just too 'frozen' to do something about it.
You don't have to confess anything yet, just ask her out, talk to her, have some fun together.

[KhenLee202]

thats so critical, cuz if you confess to her and she says no, you'll loose your status of being friends and might end up ignoring each other, how about start a normal conversation of what guys do she prefer and pop a question of what if you'll be his boyfriend, note: this maybe intense and painful but deal with the pain.. i also encountered the same problem but i just let her go because i feel she's better off with someone else and im not good enough for her

[CythilVen]

thats so critical, cuz if you confess to her and she says no, you'll loose your status of being friends and might end up ignoring each other, how about start a normal conversation of what guys do she prefer and pop a question of what if you'll be his boyfriend, note: this maybe intense and painful but deal with the pain.. i also encountered the same problem but i just let her go because i feel she's better off with someone else and im not good enough for her
Its better if he confess while he still have a chance.
Maybe tomorrow or next week that girl will have a boyfriend.
And lose the chance for him to confess his feelings.
I agree that if she says no, theres a chance that you'll lose your friendship.
But then again, thats life :D

[Shiro]

Get drunk then confess
"A drunken mind speaks a sober heart"
=)

[GreenDestiny]

No offense but...

How can we be sure that by tomorrow or nextweek she'll have a boyfriend?
If she really likes you, she'll go with your phase, but the guy should at least express an intention of interest to her.

TS should not confess to her just like that. Confess what, that he loves her? He even doesn't know what she wants.
As I said: You don't have to confess anything yet, just ask her out, talk to her, have some fun together.

Risking for love is always part of the charade/process, but it must always be a calculated risk.
I think that is the safest and surest way to get close to her, than blow this thing up at this very early stage, why risk on blowing things up.

[CythilVen]

No offense but...

How can we be sure that by tomorrow or nextweek she'll have a boyfriend?
If she really likes you, she'll go with your phase, but the guy should at least express an intention of interest to her.

TS should not confess to her just like that. Confess what, that he loves her? He even doesn't know what she wants.
As I said: You don't have to confess anything yet, just ask her out, talk to her, have some fun together.

Risking for love is always part of the charade/process, but it must always be a calculated risk.
I think that is the safest and surest way to get close to her, than blow this thing up at this very early stage, why risk on blowing things up.
I don't literally mean the tomorrow and next week part /heh
It means that if you don't make a move. You might lose her.

"But the guy should at least express an intention of interest to her."
Yes I agree.
It's up to him now how he would confess to that girl :goodjob:

[88ayanami]

show who you are(good side and bad side)
express what you feel to her
always be yourself ^^
confess at the right place and time like do it now LOL
if the answer is no (at least you do it)
if the answer is yes (congrats to you)

[Hidekiyuki]

Be a friend, always be there for her.
About confessing love, it really depends on the mood :3
You can give her flowers if you want :3
Don't think that shes not interested.
If shes not, most girls will avoid you or won't share their idea about crushes.
Chin up bro :goodjob:

well thanks, Ive been a friend for a long time... before she acts like she likes me too but now it feels different... I dont know why... Flowers are way too corny and I dont have money. All I have is a SONG I made for her (about my feelings)


thats so critical, cuz if you confess to her and she says no, you'll loose your status of being friends and might end up ignoring each other, how about start a normal conversation of what guys do she prefer and pop a question of what if you'll be his boyfriend, note: this maybe intense and painful but deal with the pain.. i also encountered the same problem but i just let her go because i feel she's better off with someone else and im not good enough for her

So It is still better to say it to her? Right? :|

[FiQ5149]

just go to her..(face to face)
talk normally..
build up the mood first..(don't just suddenly ask the IMPORTANT question)
when you see the time is right..
ask away..

then be prepare..
if accepted..then Yay! is the reaction

if other way around
you can still be friend if she does not accept it..
but hey, you did try your best..
be her best friend..support her relationship with other guy

-me speaking from experience..-

[dynastar1080]

Alright. I normally don't respond to these types of threads but I feel I have to speak up here. I come from being on both sides here. I have had girls where I kept getting mixed signals, been rejected, been accepted, been the one confessed to, and everything else.

First, let's start with what she was saying. There are two ways to look at it. One she is telling you that you need to hurry up and just ask her out. DO NOT and I am going to repeat this DO NOT say that you love her. You never truely know if you love someone until you go out with them. Don't mix up love and infatuation. I am not one to believe in love at first sight. Love is something that is created over time. With that out of the way. lets move on.

the other way to look at this, and (i dont know all the details) this seems to be the more probable one, that she is letting you know that you have already been driven into that friend zone. But thats not really a bad thing. It can actually work in your favor if you are willing to watch her date other guys. Fact is, girls want to be with someone they are friends with but for some reason, many girls when they are younger don't think this or just use it as an easy way to reject guys. Either way, isn't it better to know the answer than tear yourself up inside not knowing.

Next, there is the old saying of if it's meant to be it will be. I take this to heart. I don't know how old you are but I am going to assume you are still in highschool. Trust me, very (and i mean this) very few people end up marrying someone they went to highschool with. I know how it feels with those first girls that you think you love. It seems like there is no one else out there for you but them, however, this isnt the truth. Fact is, there is always someone else out there.

Moving on. Just ask her out. What's the worse thing that can happen? Oh, she says no. Ok. and maybe she doesn't want to be friends anymore. that's fine. now you know her true personality and are no longer tortured by the feelings of uncertianty. You will be able to move past this point. Yes it will suck. It always sucks to get rejected. But trust me. In the long run it is better. I have had those girls in the past that, to this day, I still am torn over whether or not they liked me and kick myself for not asking them out.

As for the song. I havent heard it, but since you said that you can't sing, I would not bother with it. Most of the time a song backfires since it often is corny and, well, just plain bad. Not saying that your's is but that is often the case. Also it's better to just tell them straight up. Makes you seem more confident and not hiding behind something to express your feelings. Many girls are attracted to confidence, which is why you see those couples where you look at them and go "How the hell did he get her?"

Next, and this one is purely a personal point of view but I would refrain from telling her that you want he to be your's. I'm not saying that you think like this but saying that you want someone to be your's implies that they are not a person but an object that can be owned. It's better to say that you want a relationship or for them to be your gf. Again, not saying you think this or meant for it to be taken that way but just a heads up.

Wrapping up, I would ask her out soon. Ask her to go see a movie, or to hang out (if you are severly strapped for cash). Don't say that you love her but say that you really enjoy life more when she is around and would love to go out. Or you can just be more blunt and just say "Look! I really like you. Would you be my girlfriend?" This works more than you would think. I wouldnt even bring up the song until you are well into the relationship and even then I would bring it in jokingly and base my next move on her reaction. Trying to figure out if someone likes you is a lot like poker. You never really know what the other person has. There is a lot of bluffing. But the one who wins big is the one that takes a chance and lays it all on the line.

Best saying, and something i live my life by, "Nothing worth having comes easily"

[Qualtz]

just go to her..(face to face)
talk normally..
build up the mood first..(don't just suddenly ask the IMPORTANT question)
when you see the time is right..
ask away..

It'd be kinda disappointing if you were to do all that and get rejected.
The approach like that is how "normal" guys do so i guess i wouldn't be too surprised.

Depending on the girl's personality, it requires different approaches. The fact that she likes you or not could easily be changed by your actions. Make her fall for you /gg

(can't give much advice because we're talking about different girls here and not the same one =_=)

[FiQ5149]

It'd be kinda disappointing if you were to do all that and get rejected.
The approach like that is how "normal" guys do so i guess i wouldn't be too surprised.

Depending on the girl's personality, it requires different approaches. The fact that she likes you or not could easily be changed by your actions. Make her fall for you /gg

(can't give much advice because we're talking about different girls here and not the same one =_=)

LOL i agree XD
heck you are still in highschool,
there is a LOT of time..
don't feel dejected when you got push away for first time..
there is always another time..
still just believe in yourself..and mustered up your courage.

"Life is never easy"

[Qualtz]

LOL i agree XD
heck you are still in highschool,
there is a LOT of time..
don't feel dejected when you got push away for first time..
there is always another time..
still just believe in yourself..and mustered up your courage.

"Life is never easy"

Yet you've misunderstood what i've said once again XD
That was meant for you FiQ, I'm telling you to change the "normal approach" you're doing.

[FiQ5149]

Yet you've misunderstood what i've said once again XD
That was meant for you FiQ, I'm telling you to change the "normal approach" you're doing.

oh..thank you. XD
i will take it to the heart. haha
works well for me..but maybe i will try others like you said~
but for now, i'm not in the mood for that. LOL

[Enma Ai]

i have no experience in love..but i've been observing from my friend..about it.. but if you get rejected do not get sad and depressed.. there are plenty of fish out there.. you do not have to have that fish.. my friend used to get so sad because of this guy but now she is with another guy..don't let love control your life..

[MCoftheD]

In my experience people tend to drift apart unless they're are close like non blood family.
Ya may as well take the chance if shes important to ya. At worst its a no, and you can move past.

[Hidekiyuki]

QUOTE
1st paragraph...Ohh well it's because she told me something she think it is better if you told someone you like her right away if you newly knew her because if you let time fly then she might address you as friend and friend for lifetime. Thats why I end up panicking now. I don't really like that idea and I wish I could wait a longer shorter time probably college or 4th year high school... but I feel like I won't ever have a relationship with this girl with the qualities that are coincidental. I mean everything I was looking for though I havent seen anyone with those and I feel like that only lives in my imagination and I can only draw those pictures... But dude I mean everything I was looking for...

The hair... how the hair looks, how the eyes look, how small or tall she is, EVEN HER NAME!! I mean NAME! So it really feels like I don't want anybody else anymore...

I wish there is someone else out there I dont like her to be the only one... but it is so hard to think that there is someone else out there. If everything you thought would only live in your imagination or lets say your sketches met you in real life... its really quite different.

Well thanks... so when could I probably tell her?

[dynastar1080]

Looks arent everything my friend. Now I'm not saying lower your standards but let me put this into a real life experience.

(FYI I have to ex-fiances so I know all about rejection, getting dumped, growing apart, moving away, being cheated on, and etc... basically i have been there done that.)
I to thought I found the perfect girl. Hair, looks, body and such. Well, once we started dating the b**ch came out. Trust me, there are many other girls. After my first fiance left, I thought I would never find someone else like her, well I found someone better but not by much and it ended as well. Fact is, especially in highschool, those first loves always seem to be the only one. There is this inner dream of meeting our destined person while in highschool and living happily ever after. That so rarely is the case its almost laughable. Everone gets rejected or dumped. It's how you pick up after and move on that defines who you are. So first part addressed up there. and I hope you understand that there is always someone better for you out there so never be willing to settle for less.

After dating girls that were just gourgeous, you realize that many are self absorbed or b**ches. Smart girls are fun to talk to but not always easy on the eyes. Best thing is to find the middle ground. Someone that is a best friend as well as attractive. Someone that you want to run to when things go bad, and someone who is the first person you want to see when something goes well. If the other person doesnt understand who you are, they are worth nothing. Truthfully you are still in highschool with a lot of life ahead of you (and yes i know this is a hard statement to grasp when you are in highschool since i thought this was everything then realized in college highschool was a joke). Focus on what you want out of life before girls. If your lucky to find someone early in your life that fits in with who you are and what you want, be grateful. It's very rare.

Now onto the matter at hand and when you should ask her. this is a very difficult question to ask because ask at the wrong time and your gaurenteed rejection. Ask at the perfect time (again very rare, but when it pops up jump at the chance. If the moment is perfect, shrek can get Cameron Dias. however, the reality is the moajority of the time you are in the gray area. This is hard to say when the best "moment" would be since it depends on the person. My best advice, the first moment you are alone with her, ask her on a date. Not to go hang out, but actually use the word date. Normally I have normally started with injecting the statement "You know, I really do like you" or something of the sort. The more original the better, just keep the basic simple idea of that without using any possessive terms like "Be mine" or other turn off phrases like "I can't live without you." These tend to put the other person on the defense and then your basically out unless you are very good with dodging bullets.

If you dont like the direct approach, there are other ways, however, these can backfire very easily and only use if you know them well. Ie... i recommend using these only if you have a close friendship with them already. It's kindof a way out of the friendzone once placed in but should not be realied on because it can bite you in the ass and hard. (Think of it as a nuclear bomb. It will get the point across but the shear suddeness and effects can have a very bad effect on the user as well). There is the playing the a**hole and taking small jabs at her. Be careful with this because while it does have a tendency to get a girl that is on the fence about how the feel about you a little more interested, it can very easily just make her think you are a d**k and stop talking to you completly.

Another approach is the scare or tickle approach. Now this requires a little bit of body contact but nothing sexual provided you dont take it there. You can run up behind her and scare her by gently grabbing her sides. I suggest only using this if you have just gone and scene a scary movie or she likes to be scared, otherwise it has a tendency to backfire and badly. Also if you dont have that close of a relationship to get away with physical contact DO NOT USE THIS TECHNIQUE!!! it will only end badly for you.

The final approach, and this is the hardest yet safest one, is to just stop talking to her and see if she still contacts you. This is the hardest because you have to basically ignore them. I am talking about not responding to text messages, acting like you dont hear them calling out your name if they arent right in front of you. Not talking to them over the internet or through email, and definantly no calling them on their cellphones. If she likes you and is one of those hard to get types, this has a tendency, but not always, to get them to start coming after you. It's also the easiest on you since it doesnt require you putting yourself out there. So if she doesnt talk to you again, you know she wasn't really worth your time and you can move on without being openly rejected or heart broken. It can backfire if she is the oversensitive type or shy type. they have a tendency to just stop talking with you as well.

For me all have worked and all have backfired. It all depends on the girl, your relationship with her, and you. so i can't give you a real answer nor can i say there is a sure fire way to go about this. Everything has its risks and rewards. the higher the risk the better the reward but also the worse the backlash can be (getting rejected and made fun of by the hottest girl in school for example). For me personally, I dont like to live with regrets and no longer worry about whether or not she likes who i am or not and how i should change. I am who I am, if you dont like me than your not needed nor wanted in my life. I normally will tell a girl I like her or ask her on dates and normally wait to see if she closes the physical barrier before I cross the line of invading personal space by placing an arm around her shoulder or giving her a hug. The more uptight you are the higher the probability is for failure and heartache. Dating someone shouldnt be a hardship but fun if they are the right person for you. I normally place out there in the open that i like them and then let them make the next move. If they do nothing, i move on without a second thought. If they make a move them i just go with the flow and see where it takes me. A relationship is like being on a raft in a river. Sure you can steer where you are going, but not that well. The flow of the river will speed up and slow down. You will hit obstacles, there is no way you can avoid that. Fighting the flow will get you no where and only where you out. Best thing to do is try to avoid the obstacles the best you can but just brace yourself the best you can and see where it takes you. It may be a little creek that goes nowhere or it could be the nile river going on for ages and emptying into the ocean (ie the ocean is a reference for marriage or the like).

Again, I normally dont respond to these types of forum posts but I HAVE been where you are right now and I wish someone would have told me things like this. I thought the girl i met in highschool was my life. There was no better. i was wrong. Im not saying that this couldnt work out but the likly hood given the stats and percentages of one marrying their highschool sweetheart are less the .001%. Never give up hope but dont expect anything. Life isnt any fun if you dont have hope, but it can be absolutly horrible if your not willing to realize that the hope you are holding onto is no longer there.

There is someone out there for everyone, Its just being smart enough to not be blinded by all the insignificant things around you that you miss it.

[Hidekiyuki]

QUOTE

Ohh Thanks... well I don't go to the same school as her hahaha. I study in an all boys school and I just felt like I like her after inviting her to some kind of prom stuff but I never told her about my feelings because I felt too early.

I forgot how I met her I just felt like we are close for some reason and I think she felt it too. and yeah "FELT" not "feel" well shes not only beautiful, or stuff like that, well she's different... smart, we share the same interests and stuff... but I really don't care about that. Well I guess I do have to make myself closer to her or talk to her a lot until I got the feeling if I don't approach her she will kind of a feel like uncomfy or stuff... CUZ THATS IT! I want to know someone for a long time before asking her into a relationship. I just hope that I get her old "How she treats me" back.

Anyways I just thank GOD for making this make me not feel jealous because she doesn't have any guys that would make me jealous for some reason.

AND YEAH I forgot to say... Im not the kind of guy who says lines like "I can't live without you", "Im going to die if you leave me"... it sounds so dramatically corny.

well thanks again

[maoyurui]

You know... You should just try telling her the truth. I think, base on what I understand from your post here that you and that girl already know each other well enough to move to the 2nd phase... But to be honest if I was in your shoes I would just tell her my feelings without expecting anything. The reason why you have so much tension is the fact that your expecting something good might happen or being rejected and get separated by an invisible barrier. Love is a blessing and a curse to us... But it is a part of life... Even if she rejects you... Don't go on mopping because you still have a life ahead of you... It is better that you have confessed than not 'coz you might never know if it could have worked out or not just by doing nothing. Being rejected is a risk worthwhile in taking coz in the end it will make you stronger in the end. But whatever is her response to you just try and stay as good friends... Who knows maybe there is someone out there that was really meant for you...

[Viletomb2010]

Hmmm... I am not good in this stuffs and I haven't experience this thing(<--liar). Basically first you need some momentum. You should know her and close to her. If you think it is enough already advance to the next stage. I assume that she do not know that you like her so try giving her some affection. You should be there if she have problems and help her. And finally if you know that you stand a chance try creating a conversation to set the mood and ask her your important question. I do not know what will be the answer but if she say yes then congrats if she say no better luck next time. But if she say no you should not left her because of that you can be still friends with her.