Important Warning

[solidoxygen]

Here's a funny quote that I saw somewhere:

"If you get stung by enough bees you turn into a bee,
because the venom gets into the blood stream which
spreads bee DNA throughout your entire body...
changing your genetic structure into a bee's.

Every year roughly 125 people in America are turned into bees this way."

Share your funny quotes.

[Bindu1000]

Hmmmm ... I can see you were pretty bored yesterday....

[skywalk3r]

Is this a prank ? xD

[mattduy]

Math puns are the first sine of insanity...
Forgot who said this

[Bindu1000]

A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular culling of the weakest members.

In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills off brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.

In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, constantly making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

[avich]

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.


Sherlock Holmes -
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the
night, Holmes asked, "Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson answered, "I see millions and millions of stars."

Holmes then asked, "And what does that tell you?"

Watson replied, "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and
potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we
are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful
day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes answered, "Elementary, my dear Watson. Somebody stole our tent!"

[Maemichan]

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.


Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water..

THE ALGORE Virus.... (Causes your computer to just keep counting and
counting and counting and counting)

THE CLINTON Virus....(Gives you a 7-Inch Hard Drive with NO memory)

THE BOB DOLE (aka: VIAGRA) virus... (Makes a new hard drive out of a
floppy)

THE LEWINSKY virus... (Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then
Emails everyone about what it did)

THE RONALD REAGAN virus.... (Saves your data, but forgets where it is
stored)

THE MIKE TYSON virus.... (Quits after two bytes)

LOL sorry i do not remember who said this!

[Bindu1000]

LOL - those are all so funny!!

Speed doesn't kill. Its coming to a sudden stop that does it. (Sorry ... forgot who said that too)

[alrius2000]

That quote makes me wonder

Why did It took only one spider for Peter Parker to bacame Spiderman??? hahaha XD

[Shinkirou]

That quote makes me wonder

Why did It took only one spider for Peter Parker to bacame Spiderman??? hahaha XD

Because the spider was radioactive! :emh22:

Here's mine:

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move. - Hitchhiker's Guide To Society

[Maemichan]

Because the spider was radioactive! :emh22:

Here's mine:

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move. - Hitchhiker's Guide To Society


I love that movie!

[Bindu1000]

I love that movie!

You should read the book. The movie left out huge chunks of the story and the book was really very much better

[summit900]

This is my life motto, "Its better to be thought of as a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

And my own quote: "I don't care how smart you are, if you have no common sense, then you're stupid to me."

[mburke875]

in the begining there was nothing, and it exploded. - terry pratchet ( on the big bang theory)

[tonyu56]

"Nothing of signifigance happened today."
King of England, July 4th 1887

"Everything that will be invented has been invented."
U.S. patent king type dude to the president in the really early 1900s i forget exactly who

[apophsis24]

war never solved anything ....

except Nazism
slavery
and just killing the people you don't like

[Omikaru]

I heard this on the radio, but it makes perfect sense when it comes to STD's.

"In aisle 4 we have the lovely Herpes set, for him and her! Remember. Nothing says I love you better than Ghonnorhea."