Picture Perfect : Review/Comments Thread

[KeiichiMamoru]

Here's a Review/Comments thread for Picture Perfect

[YanoStifler]

thnx mr.mod ^^

be waiting for your comments guys~
and some suggestions, i'm into chapter 5 now. and promise to update the novel everyday. ^^

[XxRoe17xX]

this original piece of yours really makes me wanna read it over and over again..
hahah....
yano's love story with almira seems to be sooooo real!!!!!
keep it up!

[Snoozy19]

Here's my review for the novel 'Picture Perfect' By OS writer YanoStifler.

I'll be using spoiler tags since there's gonna be some Spoilers so If you (the reader) are new to the novel, read the NOVEL first instead of this.

- Part 1 -
Interesting biography of the character(You). he seems like an ordinary person with a few talents and drawbacks.
Honestly I don't really like his type of lifestyle. He's 19 but already drinks, thats mostly the reason.. I'm just not a fan of those who drinks...hehe
Although, it is good that he doesn't smoke as well since the two are a terrible combination.
Since writings one of your strengths, he doesn't seem like a bad dude. In fact, he's already interested in a certain woman..LOL- Part 2 -
Yup, he really is just like an average person..lol
He doesn't even study for exams and is too lazy to attend a cool pool party where there might be hot babes there..XP
Luckily for you (I mean him) he does decide to go to the party. Having a girls image burnt into his mind was weird yet funny since I can tell that he was inlove..*how cute ^.^
His friends are nice to him but I still won't know until I keep reading..Hahaha.. His friends are funny when they trash talk to one another.. lol
He's like me too. I can't swim as well. I laughed when he and his friends made a dance in the pool.. it sounded so cool. ^^ ... I wish I could have seen it...hahaa
Good job escaping the TQ?s and Blacklabel things, videoke is a good way to enjoy the night. except losing his voice that is..hahaha
Chichi sounded like a sweet person, but you made her seem like an old woman.. Wise people are cool..XDD
But she was drunk so I guess I can't complain on what he saw in her..lolThe scene where that strange woman stared at him was hilarious.. she must be into him alot..lol
I can't believe he woke up that late but the mention of halo-halo made me hungry. I haven't had one of those since (I can't remember, but I do miss the sweetness of the drink).
Starting to remember her was cool. Even her name was beautiful --> Almira
I liked that flashback of him and Almira, it was soo cute and fluffy..ahaha
Yeah, screw that ex of his and look for that precious sim card so he can see Almira again..hahahaha

Cheyea!! I like this story alot...XD
It can compete with 'Sparks' and 'Summer Romance'..

[YanoStifler]

thnx roe!
(wow... i'm glad to know that someone likes my novel that much*teary eyes.)

and snoozy! thnx again for the review.
coolio~

^__^
waiting for other comments.
was inspired to the max :)

*opened microsoft word and wrote chapter 7*

[Snoozy19]

Review for 'Picture Perfect' by OS writer YanoStifler

I'll be using spoiler tags so if you the reader did not read the story yet then get your butt out of this thread and read the story.

CAUTION: There are alot of lines where I flame the character(Yano)

- Part 3 -Blaming his girlfriend for his messed up life in the begining is funny.
He must be bored repeating things everyday for three day but going to Mcdonalds too..XP
becoming a stalker must really feel bad, even if he scanned her site countless times.
Cara sounded hot when he decribed her.
Failing to change his profile pic was a bust in his conversation with her. Knowing Almira cosplays wasn't what I expected at all. I thought she was all girly and hot..lol

SHOCKER much!!! Almira suddenly popped up in the story..lol
*Laughs... Things have become more uexpected!! Its sweet that Almira had feelings for him but then again, that would just lead to more difficulties for both Yano and Cara.

OMG... Yano got soo screwed when Cara stated that he was just using her to meet Almira.. Damn!! you unlucky man..lol
Why in Gods name did he call Cara just to tell her that?? It's almost saying directly "I don't like you anymore, Lets break up"... Yano's such a player.. *sighsYeah!! serves him right for do that to Cara.. let him sleep in uneasyness.
Playing games to get rid of the stress might help a little but I prefer him getting stressed..hehehehehe
LOL.. I can't believe he actually named that thing 'xxXAlmiraXxx'.. he's such a love-sick puppy.

WTF!! she actually wrote that on her fb wall?? she even mentioned his name...---> Its like she wanted him to see it..lol
I loved the comments that was on the page, I felt saying the same thin to him..hehe*burn

GOD DAMMIT!!! I'm really hating how he just did that infornt of the press.. Her sister does have a point, if she was about to do a show, he just ruined her mood for it.
Sano's really pissing me off.. He doens't know how to handle things carefully. I mean he didn't even call Cara to have a proper conversation so they can break up.. thats a pretty sissy way to do things.
Greaaaat.. now he's gonna use his band too just so he can win Almira's (love???)..Looks like the story is now revovling on the reunion of Yano's band..lol
I automatically liked Maykel, he was funny and kind too.
Juat as I expected, their getting thier reputation as a top band back by making music videos and performing as invited guest of honors..XDD
It was cool that they became so popular in a matter of weeks but I thought he was gonna keep his reason a secret to everyone.

> I REALLY never expected that he'd do something as announcing on live televisiion that he wanted to be with Almira.. MAJOR WOW right there..<

This Part (3) was the one that made me really know Yano.. I'm waiting of he changes throughout Part 4.

[YanoStifler]

haha.
ayt, ayt snoozy. another cool review ^^

yano's been really confused, he sucks on decision making . and the only thing that's on his mind is the idea of talking to Almira to cure his love sickness XD
ima post another chapter today , i think you will know him soon enough XD

[UmiMiatsu]

ohoo~
I love your story ! it is the reason why I joined otaku .
If you want, I can create a summary for you characters ? can I, can I?

^________^ good job. It amazed me.

Hey ! since you are not Online .I might as well surprise you when you see this . *kufufufu*
(been waiting for you for hours now >.<)

here goes for my character summary !
I'll start with the main chars.

Character Summary #1

YanoStifler - An average guy who thinks that the world is constantly changing and that he needs to catch up with it (it maybe due to the fact that he wasted two years of his life looking for his special someone "Miyu"). He didn't knew that something is about to happen that will make him involved in the life of a super famous woman who's life seems to be perfect "Almira". It all started when he saw a picture of her. He started to make a curious impression and somehow fell in love with her. That's where his pursuit started, a pursuit of happiness, and through the process he found out a link that connects the two of them. (It was from two years ago, the time when he was the coolest)
-a history of a cute love story unfolds.

-his character is cool, he is gutsy, he talks trash at times, he values his friends and he is a one goal man. He is a smooth talker too, though he's not aware of it. He is a romantic person (seriously, where'd you get his character? )

been reading this story for 3 days. Can't help but to be in love by the character .

I'll post the other character's summary once you get online !

[YanoStifler]

"WOW" - gosh what can I say, didn't know someone will do a character summary for me.
many thanks. I very much appreciate it. with teary eyes.
wow... really can't believe it, and yes pls do another summary for the other characters. I would love to see it from you.
I was out for a while, it's my bday anyways... what a very nice gift from you.

you have read it for 3 days and yet you still came up with a good character summary, I admire you for that .
-another wow again..

[Snoozy19]

Review for 'Picture Perfect' by OS writer YanoStifler

I'll be using spoiler tags so if you the reader did not read the story yet then get your butt out of this thread and read the story.

- Part 4 -Its been a while since I read one where I don't get pissed off at Yano..XDD
There wern't any moments where he did something crazy that could make me feel so dumb by just knowing what he does..
A sit-back and relax chapter (Part 4 1/2) was a great idea since I bet they were probably all tired and stuff with all those performances and gigs that they've been having.
He's gotten really popular extrmemly fast regarding the fact that its only been a few weeks since they were active in music. Its mostly like those get-famouse quick scemes but this one has a good reason behind it.
The part where he watches the broadcast of Almira's interview was a perfect addition because it seems that Yano was getting to relaxed, its good seeing him get tense and nervous... kinda makes me feel better because of his prevoius antics in the past chapters.
His pride showed alot about his true self when he was ready to meet Almira, that showed me that he was pretty determind and one heck of a guy to do all those things just to speak with her. Although I hate to admit that I envied his determination from the very bigining of the story.. ^^The day that he's been lookng forward to has arrived and he's nervous about it.. *typical for a dude his type
The note from his brother did sorta made sense but I guess Yano would do anything that would help with his so-called date with Almira.
The date went well when I thought that it would end in disaster or in some kind of sad ending. There were times where he acted a bit goofy around her but it was fine since she did the same around him.
The cuteness factor was extrmemely high the whole time I was reading it..haha
They both said corny lines towards eachother but it was still able to fit within their personalities (somehow).
Thier date really showed more about themselves since they were so open-minded with one another so secret were easily told.
I never imagined that Almira would be so much inlove with Yano ever since they met 2 years ago.
Oh well, It seems that they are meant for eachother as far as things are going...

~ Oh yeah, a few errors on grammar was present but its not serious enough to ruin the story.

[UmiMiatsu]

hoho~ welcome yanie !
I work in a Publishing Company , it's really nothing for me .
And I am a real fun of stories who falls in a Romance/Comedy category .

Here goes for my character summary again !

Character Summary #2

Almira - "every man's dream girl"
She's super famous, She's beautiful , She's super rich too! if I can recall it.
( yeah , I think she has a nice family that supports her in her cosplays. )
She's sweet and do crazy things too ( I remember her first date with Yano, it revealed her way of talking . Which is very cute for me )
People choose Almira's looks and attach their own meaning of 'Perfect' to it .
( everyone gets stunned when they see Almira ).

Every day of her life was happy, but the moment he saw Yano was her happiest ( the story says so, but a lil bit bitter-sweet moment due to Yano's state that time - he's with his 'ex' ).
Behind Almira's smile lies a secret she's hiding to her self , she's suffering for a long time, waiting for this guy.
Two years passed, she finally got to see Yano again. But still with a surprise to her, she felt the same way she was before - "he's still with someone".
Almira got hurt a lot .
But Yano, after realizing all his stupidness from before and considering his true feelings for Almira made an effort to meet her.
It appears that Yano actually had feelings for her too. He's just confused and went through a lot this past years.
( I remember him saying he had brain damage - a very cute way to realize something )

Their story started two years ago.
A very cute love story.

-I hope that Miyu won't ruin their love story when she do show up in the future chapters T___T
I'll be doing Miyu's Summary next!

[YanoStifler]

guys! thank you very much!
@snoozy: thnx for the reviews, i've edited some grammars too. thnx

@Umi: your doing 'wow!' except for the 'yanie' thing T___T

umi! don't post Miyu's summary yet.
i'll be posting the chapters now that will reveal her true idenity pls wait til that time ^^
and i had an idea of making a prequel of this story. that still includes her.

[UmiMiatsu]

okies ! actually I'm not starting the summary of Miyu yet .
I guess I'll be waiting for that -chapter- to be posted. Anyway, my dad decided to give me some load of works again . I think I might not be able to be OS mode for a while. But I'll be right back as soon as I'm finish . I've seen part 6 and 7, haha . Cutee cutee :D

-nywy-
how to do that spoiler tags?
and...
I have a signature now !! kawaii ^^______^^

[YanoStifler]

haha. lol umi!
nice sig anyways,
I see you love azu-nyan huh? ^^ and the color violet as well as i love orange. hahaha.

anyway.
I've already posted part 8, and part 9 maybe later today.
those were the part where you can have a grasp of Miyu's character.
so there. ^^ .
see yah when your not busy anymore :D

[YanoStifler]

BUMP!
just want to bump this since not anyone can see this thread I guess T____T

[DoubleZeta]

Yo, I've just finished reading part 1 and part 2. Would be reading part 3 some other time, I've got some watching to do.

So here's a rundown of the things I've got to say and I would start with some questions.


-Is your original story based on your real life story or is the real account of what happened? (Pardon me, I am curious. XD)
-The picture on your siggy is Alodia right? Is she the Almira in Picture Perfect? (Once again, pardon me ahaha if the questions could not be answered it's fine. XD)


So anyway, I'd start with my general observations.

-It's written in the first person form. It really does feel like you're telling the story directly. That's a good point and well, you really do express your way of writing.

-It's good, I'm beginning to doubt how I fare compared to others. Hahaha... Though I can't still anything more in the general sense since I've just read 2 parts or 4 posts to date.


Comment/s for part 1:

-That's a description of attitude and you've given out the topic of the story. Well, we could say... it is an introduction afterall! Though it would be nice if you'd get to explain the physical characteristics of the character on your very first introduction of them.

-I have a vague image of the character, but well... to each his own. I can well imagine the traits you mentioned but I can't seem to have your character register on my picture editing programs. Something like that, over all it was a nice start just focus on giving a definite picture of who people should be thinking of when they read your character's name.


Comment/s for part 2:

-You introduced some new people here, Miks, Chichi, your Ex, your bro and Almira. They're well defined, in the sense I mentioned earlier for part 1, but still, same sentiments, the physical appearances don't register, though I haven't read the other parts yet so I'm not sure if I'd get to come to a definite picture of this characters.

-A good narration man, I'd be sure to read the next chapters. I can feel the frustration about the sim card and the phone. XD


If ever I was so critical, forgive me. XD :bow:
It's been a long time since I get to review someone else's work, but I can tell you that it's a nice story. Goodluck to your writing and more readers! :goodjob:

[YanoStifler]

thanks! teehee.
lol, everybody asked me that question,
well this story is Ms.A inspired so yeah, the female protagonist was made in her image.

as for the experiences, some of them are mine,
I over exaggerated some of them and turn it into something novely~ :))

well, to tell you the truth the one thing that made me write this novel is when I saw Ms.A's picture.
from then, a plot came into my mind and I can't stop writing.
lol.
(I gave her the link of the story yesterday and it was a cool feeling)

Pls continue the review, I appreciate it very much.
You would find your answers in the later chapters.

as for the character design, I made it like that so everyone would have a different picture of the main character in their mind.
though some of his physical features would be exposed in the later chapters..
hehe.. thanks dude! ^^

(PS: i'll made a review for you also, after my midterm exam... teehee)

[Snoozy19]

Review for 'Picture Perfect' by OS writer YanoStifler

I'll be using spoiler tags since there's gonna be some Spoilers so If you (the reader) are new to the novel, read the NOVEL first instead of this.


the first line felt too exagerated a bit.. I mean a midget punching your inside you?? The metaphore sounds like having a heart attack... :P whatever happened to the 'butterflies in the stomach' gimick?.. XD
hahaha... I got the major shcok when you inserted Almira in the breakfast scene. The breakfast shouted 'awkward' all over Yano with his mom and Almira getting way too close with one another almost like a man introducing his future wife to his parents... lol
that was pure humor right there but I sense that he liked it a little.

If I were to take note of every new character that was discribed in this part then I'd surely have made a 6 page essay by now. That's exactly what I'm getting at... there were a bit too many characters introduced here. Lets see - Milda, Anne, Chichi, Chard... well, it seems a lot to me.. -.-"

When Almira called him during the orientation he should have turned his phone off and listened carefully to the speech. By not doing that he totally looked like an idiot in front of many people and caught the expression that he was showing off his girl in front of everyone.. that made me wanna smack his face to next week but the short drama involved between it was rather interesting in a way that made me want to finish til the end.

Red is the color of love?!?!?! I always thought that it was sky blue of some other light color... :/ But maybe that's just what Yano thinks... he is a crazy dude after all.

So this time it's Almira's turn to introduce him to her family... sounds very intersting despite Yano's delusional outcome to what it may be when they see him as her boyfriend... heck, I'd probably feel the same just the thought of introducing himslef to his beautiful girlfriend's parents.
Somehow, I predict something humorous as a result... hehehe