Reviews/Comments for "Sparks" Series

[ZenNaari]

http://otaku-streamers.com/community/showthread.php?t=3328

Yeah yeah... send hate mail to my E-mail

put compliments and suggestions for the next chapter here...

[jeiru01]

the first 2 chapters are great. you described the story nicely, but maybe you should add more narration. reading their conversations only makes it simple. maybe, a little more description will do.

suggestion: how bout, adding a little dark side in the story. ex: sunako's character and some characters having interests on another character's skill. like using them for their own will or blah-blah. and some other twists like ark having an unknown connection to the evil-doers, like being their son, or whatever.

*peace*

[ZenNaari]

Thanks... gonna work on chapter 3 now!

haha, Star wars...

[kurai]

I really like this story, When I read it i can really make a picture in my mind with the situations going on during the scenes. I would love to see this become A great manga someday :D

[jeiru01]

just like what I expected. the story is running nice and smoothly. chapter4: yes, there's no climax. they are well focused in a single thing. i'll be waiting for the 5th chapter. and I agree with kurai that this could be a great manga someday.

[ZenNaari]

Thanks guys

*Waiting for comments on chapters 5-6*

[jzero99]

nice Zen liked the story even though u didnt follow my plot.. sorry I forgot to return it back to you..
but its still great

[ZenNaari]

Anyone going to Comment on the manga that's coming up?

[Snoozy19]

Not bad for a fantasy story. I've never read one like it that uses such original ideas, even for the magic used by the characters.

it seems like Ark is a serious and respectful person but he also has a few drawbacks.
I'll just have to keep reading to find out...

[ZenNaari]

Anyone... the manga?

[0petz253]

i just finish reading up to chapter 6.....all i can say is keep up the good work man i like reading stuff related to magic.... hehe

[Snoozy19]

Aww.... it ends there?!?!?!?!?!
So I guess the manga is only gonna be like a short series..

~ Excellent Job on the story Zen

[ZenNaari]

Lol... no... it's still ongoing... you stopped somewhere... without reading on...

[Snoozy19]

really?!?!?!?

~ Then I guess I gotta read the entire story all over again.....XD

[ZenNaari]

Sparks Manga.... extended man... lazy jzero...

[jeiru01]

Hey, you said something about the manga going to be based from the story,, so does this mean that, all conversations in the story will be the same in the manga? I'm still waiting for the manga, 'tis the reason why i haven't read the other chapters, so that i won't get spoiled.. so, when will be it's official release?

[ZenNaari]

... just read the story... cuz like Jzero was the guy who gave me the plot and now we have even more plot twists that we won't even follow the original story that we made here but everything that happens yes... but like... a few personalites will change and some gags will be changed and so on and so forth... so continue reading the story cuz the manga won't follow it perfectly...

[jzero99]

zen im just waiting for the name.... or whatevah u call it and whatever lines they will say to make the manga...
i am already ready -.-

[Snoozy19]

Well, as promised. I'll now be posting a huge comment. I'll use spoiler tags since there's gonna me some...well.. SPOILERS..LOL.. So for those who haven't read the story yet, get your butt out of this thread and into the story.
I'll be reviewing each chapter at a time since I like doing comments like that.

~ CHAPTER 1 ~
The three starting character introduced in the beginning was a good idea. It makes the reader aware of the (main)characters that are or might be important in the story. The starting conversation of the three (Ark, Era, and Keo) made it sort of a hint of what they were and what they do. For some reason the scene when they charge reminded me of Cress Albane from Tales of Phantasia..XP

It was sort of a surprise when they turned out to be just students attending a Battle Academy. The principle was rather nice (for a principle that is..lol). Altough when I learned that it was an academy the first thing that came to mind was Bleach and and Soul Eater (I have no idea why).

The comedy that came after was a good touch for the story. Twin sisters fighting over an argument is hilarious. I like their names by the way (Yuna and Ethica), Yuna might not be original (FFX) but Ethica sure was a name that I haven't heard before. The magic used (Asura) was pretty amazing, even the way you portrayed the fight between the two sisters were amazing. I imagined the scene in my head so it was really cool thinking of the attacks shooting at one another.

I immediately liked Yuna better because of obvious perspectives between Etchica. to me, Yuna's like Sakura Haruno (my onpinion) since she was nice but can also be pretty powerful. The line that Etchica said "One Yuna, stronger than two Ethica." made me awed at how strong and skilled Yuna was..XD

The demonstration battle when Ark was in class is cool too. The instructor must be very skilled to go up against him with a wooden sword, all he did was dodge Ark's attack and knock him down by hitting him behind the legs. DAMN I love the names you had for the weapons (Hollow Longsword and Fireblend Rapier), they were soooo kick-ass..XP

Ethica's reason for wanting to spar with Ark was kinda obvious at first after Era stated "Good luck on your little date!"... Such a KYAAAA moment right there..hahaha
On the battlefield, that Shizo sounded like a wimp Because he kept complaining. Era's a good friend when he volunteered to take Ark's place in battling the next wave of enemies.

Don't worry Zen, I'm just taking a breather.. My fingers sore from typing this long comment.
I'll be posting my comment for Ch. 2 later..
Yes, I really intend to make a comment for each chapter..XD

[ZenNaari]

WAAH! Thank you! I feel so inspired now!!! Gotta make chapter 13 now!!! Oh btw, your really better practice... I mean... I slave over a keyboard (And sometimes a cellphone qwertyuiop keyboard) for 1-2 hours just making the story... so gambatte! I'm looking forward to comments like this!

[Snoozy19]

Here's another installment for my Super review for the story 'SPARKS'.
I'll be using spoiler tags so if your reading this and haven't read the story yet, get your butts out of this thread and into the story.

- Chapter 2 -

Making Arc introduce himslef and his other 2 friends (Keo and Era) cleared alot of the questions in head. I didn't realize that it was thier short names, well except for Ark's name..LOL
Senera was the one that took my attention. He doens't use swords but daggers and knives!! pretty cool if you ask me. And he even battle monsters with them? He sure is skilled if he could face a monster with just a small dagger. O.O'

Jakeo's name is rather interesting than normal its just that I NEVER (In my life) ever heard of that sort of name..hahaha
I'm not tryin to make fun, its just refreshing to hear a new name pop up in my head..XD
A red mage sounded cool the way you decribed it. so he's a swordsman as well but can aslo do magic combinations in his attacks.. thats my type of warrior!!
Yuna and Ethica's personality didn't really take me by surprise since they cleary stated how they were in chapter 1.

Its now very obvious that both Yuna and Ethica have a THING for Ark..
Yuna's line "Ark, can you take me out on a date too?" was HELLA funny. It even made me bite my pillow just to stop laughing..hahahahaha

Era's match with the instructor amazed me. His speed and mobility in a battle was phenominal... GOD DAMMIT, he even made the teacher look OWNED..lol lol lol lol
His fighiting style was impressive as well, all he did was charge and get behind the instructor in order to place his dagger on his neck... It frikkin blowed my frikkin mind.. SO much for student and teacher..hahahahaha
Also, the humor of making fun of the instructor by cuting his clothes off was cool, Era's one funny dude.. :D

As I expected, Ethica does have a thing for Ark. Who else says that a date is the only reward for winning..lol
Their battle was very good. The kinds of blasts Ethica can perform was awesome. The beam of light where she summons asura souls can be very helpful in battle.. Its like shadow clones except thier souls..hehehe
I LOVED the conslusion of the battle. made me laugh hard again.. that Era..hahahaha
I thought that taking a persons clothes was just for fun but I didn't expect that he's do it on Ethica..lol
Era the Perv should be his nickname..hehehehe


My review for chapter 3 will be posted extremely soon..
I'll edit this when I finish it within this hour.
~ Something funny I'd like to share: The first time I read the title I thought it spelled 'SPRAKS'... My eyes were a bit blurry at that time. :3

[ZenNaari]

Thanks again!!! *Almost finished w/ ch 13*

[Snoozy19]

So much for my extremely fast post for this review...XDD
Here's another installment for my Super review for the story 'SPARKS'.
I'll be using spoiler tags so if your reading this and haven't read the story yet, get your butts out of this thread and into the story.

- Chapter 3 -OH SNAPS!!! The first line was a shocker O.O
Ark must REALLY be confused at what Yuna stated ("How could you! You raped my sister!")..hahaha

I thought Era was the only perv but Ethica too!! I didn't epect that.. XD
Who, especially a girl would want to give her used panty to a dude? her crush on him must really be strong if she would do something like that.
Era's such a punk and troublmaker. Jacking the vending machine just to make a quick buck was a wrong move especially when it was Keo he's pranking.
He deserved that hit from a fire spell he recieved from Keo...lol

When Keo said that Era was a noob, I realized that he was a higher level warrior than Era.
It was depressing a little that he refused to spar with Era because I too am curious how he fights.
I've already read how Ark and Era fights but Keo is still a mystery.

The next scenes were a bit confusing for me.. well, not really confusing but it was sorta wierd..lol
Ark beeing proclaimed dead was indeed wierd, since I knew that if he died what the heck would the story revolve around??
The instructor is stupid for things at students but they are worriors.. and how can a ruler cause all that to Ar? I mean, its just a ruler for peats sake. Its not like it was a metalic one or something right??..

The way you explained what eating the burnt newt was for, it amazed me that it even made sense...hahahaha
Alot of stories just make up medical solutions that are too bizare to even comprehend.

Ethica's reaction when seeing him getting rushed to the infermary got me riled up to what she was gonna do next. but alas, she just shed tears and comforted him even though he already said that he was fine..hahaha
She could have at least let Ark hug her too.. what with 'shrugging her shoulder'... *tsk tsk

I'm looking forward to Ark and Keo's fight (spar) in the next chapter... I'm still too curious to how he fights with swords and magic.- Chapter 4 -The first Magic Academy's reason for exsisting is noble and is fitting to be called justified. Its alot like a police academy except there's no no bullets but weapons of magic.
The branches of the academy stated by the three is extremely beneficial to the reader since not alot of inforamtion about the school was given in the previous chapters.

That Juno character, I thought that she had a dragon appearance since she was referred as a dragoon..hehehe.. my bad.
Its good good that you state what they really are or else I would have kept that thought throughout the entire chapter. I even thought that the ice pic was indeed just an ordinary pic.
The name Katar was pretty cool for a weapon. The originality of it is awesome..XD

When they reached Lepan (wherever that is) I became lost myself because I have no idea where that place is...hahaha
Introducing a new character known as Kwon made me think just who was he and who the heck was this Kai he was talking about.
Knowin the principles name didn't really caught my interest but knowing that Kwon was Yuna and Ethica's uncle was..lol

His bonding moment with Keo becuase they were both of the same class got me irritated cuz the other two were being ignored...hahahahaha
It's a bit dissapointing that Keo didn't get to fight in this chapter.. I was really hoping to see how his abilities compare to the other two.

I could understand how Era felt about seeing him fight.
but after Ark said that he sounded gay, I lifted my head up and laughed.
When they were about to get started on the excavation, Ethica's name popped up..
It made me think "Is she gonna go to?"

Next review will be posted after I read Ch. 5 and 6.. X3

[ZenNaari]

^^... chapter 13... a few more words and it's done... but I still have to transfer it it to the comp...

[umeboshi]

Okay, you'll have my honest opinion now. You're a good writer, but to me your text was difficult to read. I understand it, because it's going to be a manga, but, I'm still bothered. I like when the text isn't all dialogue. I like when the text has lots of description of time, place, etc. And your text didn't have it. :l
I read two chapters, and didn't realize almost anything. You didn't describe how the characters look or anyhting like that.
Dialogue was workable, but I still missed something. You're a good writer, like I said, but I need more to keep my interest.

But, I believe there's people who are fine with this style of writing, even though I am not.

[ZenNaari]

Guys... you know what... I get more comments in Facebook than here...

>.<