The "I Need Help" Thread!

[SquishyNinja]

Since it seems that alot of people (including me) need help in their lives, this thread will be dedicated to helping others get through problems. I personally will use my advice-giving talents to help out in any way possible!
Since the only reason I started this was so I could get some help, I'll start.

There's this guy who I sit with in my English class. He's a total asshole. He's immature and an all-over mean person. He thinks he's so funny, that he'll act immature and try to mess with anyone (mostly me though). It really just gets annoying. My English class is an AP class (That being its college-prep), so I'd expect everyone to act serious and actually try to pass. His behavior is making MY grade slip, because I have to deal with it. I've tried moving, but the teacher wont allow it, no matter how many times I tell her about his behavior. I've even almost beaten him up. I just want to find a way to stop this!

[clownman]

you can report it to the principle if it is effecting your grade and the teacher wont do anything about it, or just ask to get switched to a different class?

[russj]

agree with clown.. move to a higher power... or just beat him up <-- he would like that assuming he has ADHD.. the better intervention is to ignore him when he expect attention, or so my prof said in one of my classes

[yuzuXD]

i think he has a secret crush on you. hehe he just wants ur attention.

[SquishyNinja]

i think he has a secret crush on you. hehe he just wants ur attention.

I highly doubt that...
Anyway, all your suggestions gave me an idea. I'll post later to see if it actually worked!

[ko86]

Ignore him. You need to seriously ignore him, don't even make a sound. If a response is ever needed, just give him a smile, and that smile must be the kind that says "i really pity you and everyone else around you".

[skywalk3r]

I think ignoring him will make her more pissed. It just came from my instincts.

[fatcharley]

I agree that the silent treatment is likely your best choice. Just look straight through him like he's not there and go on with whatever you are doing. Keep your guard up though, this may make him mad/violent. If he tries any thing like that, then the teacher will have to throw him out. In any case don't beat him up, that will only get you in trouble. (I used to subtitute teach a long time ago and have seen this before - too bad your teacher won't listen)

[bootwhistle]

Hmm, there is a certain truth that people who usually behave like assholes have some problems they are not dealing with too well.
I don't think that excuses his behaviour but I find it helps to see where people are coming from in order to solve problems.
Teachers or higher ups might be able to help.. though if they let the situation get to the point where he is that much of a disturbance in class I doubt they are that effective.

There is something you could try but will probably be hard to do, I've only had to do it a few times. Basically you take them aside talk to them, but remain calm and look them dead in the eye, you have to speak with a tone that is certain, authoritative and I guess with an edge to it, like you are giving them a last chance.
Then you just calmly explain how their behaviour is causing you problems and how much it annoys you... if they keep quiet and listen *then soften the tone a bit and offer a bit of support, something like 'I'm not sure if you are going through anything but if it is something you need to talk about I'll listen'
Kind of like a one person 'good cop bad cop' thing.

That's basically a first step though,

**However it can backfire like crazy as well, which you have to be prepared for, but it is less likely if you can project total confidence... as I said it is pretty hard.

[SquishyNinja]

Thanks for all your help! I've solved my problem!
How I did it: Let's just say he won't be coming to school for a while...


Just Kidding! I didn't hurt him in any way!


What I REALLY did:
I talked to him before class the other day. With a serious face, I told him he was being immature and had to stop because his actions were making my grade mess up. Before he tried to give a witty comeback, I metioned that if it happens again I'm gonna go to the teacher (he never noticed me trying to tell her) or the counselor (I just found out he happens to be very afraid of her, even though all she does is give us our classes). He backed off and he hasn't bothered me since!

Now, this tread will stay dormant until yet another person needs our help!

[skywalk3r]

Good thing you solved your problem, good job Squishy. ;P

[Bindu1000]

So Russ's comment that we would all give un-solicted useless advise to just feel good about ourselves was wrong ... hahaha. Glad we could all help

[russj]

do you even know what that line means? to be accurate i didnt say "useless advice". and since she did asked for advice its not unsolicited anymore...

i still stand with what i said.. if you look at it introspectively, my view is correct. just being honest

like how the conversation went in the cb, squishy shunned the idea of higher power saying they didnt have a person in charge with student relations.. turned out they had one. this is why i said its useless.. no matter what we say she already had an idea how to handle it and just looking for confirmation

the mix of boot and clown's ideas was a cool solution. not that you picked it up from here

@squishy: good to hear it turned out fine. *try to learn your school's system and work around it <-- this is an example of an unsolicited advise

EDIT: added points

[bootwhistle]

Figured I could use some advice, so I'll try this thread out... well, here goes.

I realized I have a lot of decisions to make in the next couple of months, and they will basically affect what I'm going to be doing for the next few years... or longer.
There is no right or wrong path... but it kind of struck me... I have no idea what I want. I've made decisions before because of pressure, or for the sake of someone else but in the end it wasn't really what I wanted.
Does anyone have some advice on trying to figure out what one would want or... perhaps maybe I just need to know whether or not it is okay to be selfish in making decisions.

I know this is all very vague and if requested I'll go into specifics, but first I just want to see if there is some good general advice ;)

[avich]

@boot,

You could list down all the wishes in your life that you can think of and right it down on a piece of paper and then organize and prioritize them. It will give you a birds eye view of what you really want to have or do in life.

[skywalk3r]

@Boot...

Be selfish... It's your life, it's your decision. Just think what will make yourself satisfied.

[avich]

But sometimes selfishly deciding on all the things we do is not a good idea, we might trample on other feelings in the process.

[animestardime33]

~~~just a thought... well you have to make sure that that decision will make you happy coz if it doesn't you might end up regreting it...^_^

[summit900]

I think that you should follow what your heart says, even if your gut or someone tells you different, if you follow what your heart says you wont regret it it because you felt it was right at the time. and anyways everybody makes decisions they regret, the only thing you can do is learn. Next time don't make the same mistake. Sorry I'm very opinionated. i have made choices that have almost ruined my entire life, just listen to what your heart says and you will never regret, at least i haven't

[Bindu1000]

Hmmm I dont agree with being selfish or following your heart.
1. Being selfish - Yes sometimes its good to do small things for ourselves but if we are making big decisions, I think we need to think of other people as well. However you need to be selective on whose feelings you are considering - maybe like parents or spouses. We are not islands and have to interconnect with others and while there are many who have done their own thing ... would you be happy if you did? If you can live with yourself, then I guess it okay to be selfish
2) Following your heart - I think its not a good way to make decisions. Our hearts are controlled by our emotions and while that is important you have to use your analytical brain to look at the logical side of your decision. There are many who have made emotional decisions like eloping or leaving jobs and lived to regret it. Emotion may guide us but it should also be backed by logic
Finally - your faith should be your guide. Whatever religion you follow (if you have one) should help give you the guidelines
In the end, whatever decision you make, its you who has to live with it, so best of luck :1:

[fatcharley]

@boot - Bindu1000 pretty much wrapped it all up .... without a whole lot of details (no I am not asking) she has given you the best advice available .....

[bootwhistle]

Hmm, thanks all for the advice, I think Chivas probably put it best... just have to take stock of everything and sort it out. Time to break out the drafting tools and start making a flow chart :D I guess everyone gave good advice, it just doesn't apply to everything, more like varying degrees of sorts.
Meh, some issues have to decide to be a bit selfish and on others give something up, while keeping in mind what it is I really want to be doing (following ones heart), while adding a healthy dose of practicality. Though in the end just have to have faith that whatever road is taken everything works toward some purpose, even if one can't see it at the time.

Or to some it all up eloquently, "Stop ****ing worrying, and just do it"