Goroganpolo9
12-12-2011, 05:32 AM
Reviews and comments here: http://otaku-streamers.com/community/showthread.php?11062-Reviews-and-comments-for-Uncontrollable-Romance-(yaoi)-PART-1
Uncontrollable Romance
Chapter1 RYO-my love
His touch against my face, his cooling, big hands pat my head. I wanted to stay that way forever... But all good things must come to an end... I wanted to tell him how I felt and not be "just friends", I just wish he could understand me... I don't even know what to do anymore... He is my life, and yet how can I destroy and let my own life break apart and fall through my hands?
It felt as though my heart was going to burst, I wanted to just scream and thrash uncontrolobly until I could calm down... I was in the edge of tears and wasn't sure if I could hold back anymore.
Although, I know that he won't realize how I feel about him, I still have a bit of hope left that he will realize it himself...His beautiful hands swept through my hair, his face only inches from mine, I could feel his breath, his heart racing and the sound of tears dripping onto the floor. I wanted to help, not always feel so useless... But I could only hug him and not let go.
Chapter2 RYO-him
As I cried he comforted me, it should have been me comforting him... He looked at me, with his pure green colored eyes, the color that represented the beauty of nature, the natrual look seemed to fit him like putting a final puzzle piece into it's rightful place, so fitting... His chocolate brown colored hair was like his smile melted chocolate and it he color stuck to his hair. And his low voice was so intimidating I just wish he would talk more, everytime he made a small sound, a groan, a sigh or even a squeak he would just sound so adorable... if only you could be mine I thought.
You mean the world to me, and yet you have no idea... Next to you I look like nothing, I care more for you than myself, I love everything about you, your face your smile your laugh, voice, body, eyes, and most of all I love you, all of you. And yet how could you, the beautiful smart angel, Sora, be so clueless?
Yet here you are hugging me comforting me even though you don't know why I'm this depressed, you don't realize that it's because of you that I'm here sobbing my heart out. It was because everytime I hint to you that your the one I love, you make it into a joke and act like I am joking or making fun of you. And his could you be so insensitive? You just randomly start to say you love someone... And my ears try to block out what you say, but I know it's impossible for you, a guy, to like a guy like me... And yet the truth has never hurt so much.
Chapter3 RYO-all about him
Sora...sora...Sora,SORA!!! You you you, that's all I think, I hate it when other people get close to you, but I love it when you pat me on the head , your big cool hands always calm me, speak, talk to me, accept the fact that I love you, we can make this work out somehow... I know it. But you need to accept the reality first... I'm a guy and your a guy, and I'm in love with you... I know it just screams misfourtune, but I don't care. All that depends on how you feel now... Tell me... Speak...
"Ryo? Why are you crying? Men shouldn't cry..." I could hear a hint of a smile in his voice.
"Its... Nothing" I sniffled
"are you sure your ok?"
"yeah I'm fine... So who is it you said you liked just now?"
"Oh that's not important, it's best that you didn't hear it..."
"tell me." I demanded
"no I said it's not important..."
"fine just let me go, I'm fine now."
I tried to push him away, but instead he hugged me even closer. I wanted to scream "Let me go!!! You idiot!!! Stop teasing me and hurting me over and over again!!!" why does he have to be so smart, charming and beautiful. But the most painful thing about him is that he is just too painfully kind, even after I've tried to push him away time after time, he always comes to help me no matter what. I haven't ever hear a single selfish thing come from his mouth before.
"No." sora said,
"no?"
"No, I won't let go, I'm tired of letting go."
"what are you talking about Sora? Are you okay?" I've never heard sora speak like this before...
"Ryo, are you really that dense?"
"hey, Sora what are you talking about?! I'm not dense your dense!"
"hmm? How so?"
"Youll find out soon enough..."
"stop. Stop! Stop making me wait all the time, I've waited ever since we met, to hope that you'd notice, all three years waiting for you to finally notice. But I guess you really are too dense, Ill just have to spell it out for you: Ryo the one that I love is you."
Huh? What's going on? I've never heard Sora speak so much before, and wait, he must be joking right? Right?
Sora...I didnt believe him at first, but the look in his eyes was just too convincing to be a lie...
"Ryo..."
"Sora?... is... is..."
Sora bursts out laughing and says: "AHAHAH, RYO!!! YOU FELL FOR IT!!"
My heart wants to explode. As those few words exit Soras mouth. I felt a pain like ive never felt before in my gut. I wanted it to be real... how could i have been so selfish and actually think he was in love with me? I really am the worst...I dont even deserve to be friends with sora while i have these desires for him..
Chapter4 SORA-regrets
I started to laugh, just to cover up my embarresment. I shouldnt have told him the truth... I knew he wouldnt beleive me... Ryo... how dense are you? And to even have the thought that you will never be in love with me, just because were both guys. I really love you. But why do you look so pained right now? I thought you didnt love me in return.
I started to see the tears welling up inside of Ryo's eyes, I feel so guilty. How could i have confessed to him and not think about it all?
"How...how could... you?"Ryo sniffled in between his tears.
"I'm sorry, it was meant to be a joke... I never thought you wouldve fallen for it..." I said, but as i said it, my heart protested, my chest ached, i knew it would hurt me if i had said that.
"WHY?!! why are you joking about things like that?! You make me so sad Sora!!! WHY?!" Ryo said, sobbing now. As i look at his pained expression i cant resist the temptation welling up inside of me...
"Im..so...sorry...", i said," i wont ever hurt you again..."
"everyday im depressed because of you, you dont know how much you mean to me! now i cant even stop my tears!!"he said, "I LOVED YOU!!!"
Me, flabergasted standing there feeling like a complete idiot for not noticing sooner, finally got back my senses, I leaned in and slowly pressed my lips against his...
Chapter5 RYO-painful memories
Tears rolled down my face, I stopped breathing but didnt long for air, I longed for more of him, my eyes opened to find Sora's eyes closed,with tears also rolling down his face. It was the first time i have seen him cry in the three years he had been with me... sadness, pleasure and greed is what i felt. I wanted all of him, but, if he had been joking then why would he have done this?
Pain inflicted my mind, was he doing this only for amusement, taking advantage of my feelings toward him?No.. i thought, Sora isnt like that...
It took all my will and energy to push away, when i did, i saw a pained expression on his face, something like sadness and rejection and betrayal all together. I took one look at him and turned away, but then without facing him, i hugged him as closely as possible. His head was far above mine, he accepted the hug and embraced me tightly. He felt so cold, colder than ever.
More tears welled up in our eyes. Why was he crying? Was it something I did?
I thought of all of my tears, in my lifetime, i have cried so much it could fill the pacific ocean i thought, but of course it was impossible, but the reason for half of those tears was because of this angelic demon standing before me. He had the heart of and angel but the way he used it was the mastermind of a demon.
The other half of those tears was because of my family. I am alone. All alone. No one together with me, no family, no loved ones, nothing left. Except for this demon. I wanted nothing more than him, Sora, my only special something left in my life. It felt as though i am trying to escape from hell by grabbing onto a spider thread conecting to the real world, in hopes of being able to return to before. And yet even though i am the only one left with hope in this hell, i still grab on tightly to my last hope, Sora. Sora is the angel flying high up in the sky, waving at me from the top of the hell pit, he teases me when i cant reach the outside world, yet he is the only thing that motivates me to keep on hoping, he is the demon-like angel from above looking down on me. While i am in the hell pit full of all my dead corpses of my loved ones piled on top of each other making a small cliff for me to get out of the hell with. As if they are all supporting me to never give up, and to forget about them.
Chapter6 SORA-painful truth
I never wanted to breathe again, i wanted to stay this way forever. His lips were stubborn, and his eyes were shut closed. He looked so scared and happy, yet so pained...I shut my eyes and could feel my tears rolling down my cheeks, tears of joy, sadness, pain, stubborness, and most of all, Love.
Love was the only thing that made me act this way. I knew every single muscle in my body didnt want to move, every vein in my body was pushing all of the blood into my face, forcing me to blush. I havent cried in so long. I was afraid that I had forgotten how to cry. And yet here I am thanks to this guardian angel thats standing in front of me, crying for my first time in years. I had forgotten how the sensation of liquids slowly dripping out from your own two eyes had felt like. I had missed this happiness, all because of this guardian, I am finally able to be at peace again. Yet I still know that the reason why this beautiful guardian is crying, and in pain, is because of me. I felt like a demon, for stealing everything away from him. I stole his whole life because of my selfishness, I was the reason his family died that night. I remember asking Ryo if his parents could drive me home after a fun day with Ryo and his family in the park, he gladly accepted. Because they planned on going out to eat after they brought me home, Ryo's sister also came with us, but Ryo had felt tired so he stayed home.
When we were almost at my house, it was raining hard, then disaster striked. The car slipped over and landed upside down.
The next thing I remembered was awaking in the hospital with stitches on my head and arms, I had survived I thought, but the doctors told me I was the only one that did. It was all my fault... When I told Ryo, he told me:
"GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!!" and cried his heart out. I had to comfort him, it was the most painful thing I had ever seen before my eyes. Because he had no where to go, we started to live together and go to the same schools... but I'm sure even if he told me that he loved me, he still thinks I'm a demon.
Chapter7 SORA-I'm sorry
Ryo, Ryo, I'm so sorry, I never meant to hurt you, I only meant to help you.
I wanted to be the one that made you light up when you saw me, but it has turned into the complete opposite, I'm so sorry. Its all my fault, I'll leave if I've gone too far. I'm not sure where I'll leave to, as long as youre happy, I'll do anything for you. Only two words were repeating in my head:
I'm sorry.
I slowly open my eyes and see Ryo's face of heartbreak and pain. He pushes me away and turns away his head. I wanted to say, look, look at me, I love you, I'm not teasing you. But with these tears in my eyes, I dont think that It would be much help. I felt so rejected, but instead of yelling at me, Ryo holds onto the back of my shirt and lays his head on my chest. He still had tears in his eyes, but much less than me. Me, now sobbing cant hold back. Im so sorry, I hug him back and my tears fall into his hair. I hold on to him with my love, and I slowly whisper in a low and quiet voice: "i love you too, i mean it."
Chapter8 SORA-Its true
I kept on repeating those words through my sobbing, I kept on saying :"i love you, i love you, i love you". Faster and faster until I couldnt breathe. He let me stay like that in his arms, his heat was heartwarming, his smell was intoxicating, I knew that I was unconditionally in love with him. I waited for him to reply with something like: "stop lying to me...", but instead I only got a cold silence.
I kept on saying I love you to Ryo, until my eyes felt tired. I nearly fell asleep until something Ryo said woke me up wide awake he said:
"I believe you." Then he let go of me, looked me in the eyes and stood up on his tip toes and kissed me on the cheek. It was a small, sweet kiss, a little peck on the cheek. When he looked me back in the eyes, he smiled. I put my hand to my face's right cheek, where he kissed me, and stared at him in amazement, It was the first time I have seen Ryo so eager to touch me. I smiled, like I never smiled before. My smile, I could feel my heart pouring emotion into it. I felt my teeth showing, my dimples were clearly shown and my eyes had a upbeat feeling. I felt loved. For the first time in ages, I felt loved.
Uncontrollable Romance
Chapter1 RYO-my love
His touch against my face, his cooling, big hands pat my head. I wanted to stay that way forever... But all good things must come to an end... I wanted to tell him how I felt and not be "just friends", I just wish he could understand me... I don't even know what to do anymore... He is my life, and yet how can I destroy and let my own life break apart and fall through my hands?
It felt as though my heart was going to burst, I wanted to just scream and thrash uncontrolobly until I could calm down... I was in the edge of tears and wasn't sure if I could hold back anymore.
Although, I know that he won't realize how I feel about him, I still have a bit of hope left that he will realize it himself...His beautiful hands swept through my hair, his face only inches from mine, I could feel his breath, his heart racing and the sound of tears dripping onto the floor. I wanted to help, not always feel so useless... But I could only hug him and not let go.
Chapter2 RYO-him
As I cried he comforted me, it should have been me comforting him... He looked at me, with his pure green colored eyes, the color that represented the beauty of nature, the natrual look seemed to fit him like putting a final puzzle piece into it's rightful place, so fitting... His chocolate brown colored hair was like his smile melted chocolate and it he color stuck to his hair. And his low voice was so intimidating I just wish he would talk more, everytime he made a small sound, a groan, a sigh or even a squeak he would just sound so adorable... if only you could be mine I thought.
You mean the world to me, and yet you have no idea... Next to you I look like nothing, I care more for you than myself, I love everything about you, your face your smile your laugh, voice, body, eyes, and most of all I love you, all of you. And yet how could you, the beautiful smart angel, Sora, be so clueless?
Yet here you are hugging me comforting me even though you don't know why I'm this depressed, you don't realize that it's because of you that I'm here sobbing my heart out. It was because everytime I hint to you that your the one I love, you make it into a joke and act like I am joking or making fun of you. And his could you be so insensitive? You just randomly start to say you love someone... And my ears try to block out what you say, but I know it's impossible for you, a guy, to like a guy like me... And yet the truth has never hurt so much.
Chapter3 RYO-all about him
Sora...sora...Sora,SORA!!! You you you, that's all I think, I hate it when other people get close to you, but I love it when you pat me on the head , your big cool hands always calm me, speak, talk to me, accept the fact that I love you, we can make this work out somehow... I know it. But you need to accept the reality first... I'm a guy and your a guy, and I'm in love with you... I know it just screams misfourtune, but I don't care. All that depends on how you feel now... Tell me... Speak...
"Ryo? Why are you crying? Men shouldn't cry..." I could hear a hint of a smile in his voice.
"Its... Nothing" I sniffled
"are you sure your ok?"
"yeah I'm fine... So who is it you said you liked just now?"
"Oh that's not important, it's best that you didn't hear it..."
"tell me." I demanded
"no I said it's not important..."
"fine just let me go, I'm fine now."
I tried to push him away, but instead he hugged me even closer. I wanted to scream "Let me go!!! You idiot!!! Stop teasing me and hurting me over and over again!!!" why does he have to be so smart, charming and beautiful. But the most painful thing about him is that he is just too painfully kind, even after I've tried to push him away time after time, he always comes to help me no matter what. I haven't ever hear a single selfish thing come from his mouth before.
"No." sora said,
"no?"
"No, I won't let go, I'm tired of letting go."
"what are you talking about Sora? Are you okay?" I've never heard sora speak like this before...
"Ryo, are you really that dense?"
"hey, Sora what are you talking about?! I'm not dense your dense!"
"hmm? How so?"
"Youll find out soon enough..."
"stop. Stop! Stop making me wait all the time, I've waited ever since we met, to hope that you'd notice, all three years waiting for you to finally notice. But I guess you really are too dense, Ill just have to spell it out for you: Ryo the one that I love is you."
Huh? What's going on? I've never heard Sora speak so much before, and wait, he must be joking right? Right?
Sora...I didnt believe him at first, but the look in his eyes was just too convincing to be a lie...
"Ryo..."
"Sora?... is... is..."
Sora bursts out laughing and says: "AHAHAH, RYO!!! YOU FELL FOR IT!!"
My heart wants to explode. As those few words exit Soras mouth. I felt a pain like ive never felt before in my gut. I wanted it to be real... how could i have been so selfish and actually think he was in love with me? I really am the worst...I dont even deserve to be friends with sora while i have these desires for him..
Chapter4 SORA-regrets
I started to laugh, just to cover up my embarresment. I shouldnt have told him the truth... I knew he wouldnt beleive me... Ryo... how dense are you? And to even have the thought that you will never be in love with me, just because were both guys. I really love you. But why do you look so pained right now? I thought you didnt love me in return.
I started to see the tears welling up inside of Ryo's eyes, I feel so guilty. How could i have confessed to him and not think about it all?
"How...how could... you?"Ryo sniffled in between his tears.
"I'm sorry, it was meant to be a joke... I never thought you wouldve fallen for it..." I said, but as i said it, my heart protested, my chest ached, i knew it would hurt me if i had said that.
"WHY?!! why are you joking about things like that?! You make me so sad Sora!!! WHY?!" Ryo said, sobbing now. As i look at his pained expression i cant resist the temptation welling up inside of me...
"Im..so...sorry...", i said," i wont ever hurt you again..."
"everyday im depressed because of you, you dont know how much you mean to me! now i cant even stop my tears!!"he said, "I LOVED YOU!!!"
Me, flabergasted standing there feeling like a complete idiot for not noticing sooner, finally got back my senses, I leaned in and slowly pressed my lips against his...
Chapter5 RYO-painful memories
Tears rolled down my face, I stopped breathing but didnt long for air, I longed for more of him, my eyes opened to find Sora's eyes closed,with tears also rolling down his face. It was the first time i have seen him cry in the three years he had been with me... sadness, pleasure and greed is what i felt. I wanted all of him, but, if he had been joking then why would he have done this?
Pain inflicted my mind, was he doing this only for amusement, taking advantage of my feelings toward him?No.. i thought, Sora isnt like that...
It took all my will and energy to push away, when i did, i saw a pained expression on his face, something like sadness and rejection and betrayal all together. I took one look at him and turned away, but then without facing him, i hugged him as closely as possible. His head was far above mine, he accepted the hug and embraced me tightly. He felt so cold, colder than ever.
More tears welled up in our eyes. Why was he crying? Was it something I did?
I thought of all of my tears, in my lifetime, i have cried so much it could fill the pacific ocean i thought, but of course it was impossible, but the reason for half of those tears was because of this angelic demon standing before me. He had the heart of and angel but the way he used it was the mastermind of a demon.
The other half of those tears was because of my family. I am alone. All alone. No one together with me, no family, no loved ones, nothing left. Except for this demon. I wanted nothing more than him, Sora, my only special something left in my life. It felt as though i am trying to escape from hell by grabbing onto a spider thread conecting to the real world, in hopes of being able to return to before. And yet even though i am the only one left with hope in this hell, i still grab on tightly to my last hope, Sora. Sora is the angel flying high up in the sky, waving at me from the top of the hell pit, he teases me when i cant reach the outside world, yet he is the only thing that motivates me to keep on hoping, he is the demon-like angel from above looking down on me. While i am in the hell pit full of all my dead corpses of my loved ones piled on top of each other making a small cliff for me to get out of the hell with. As if they are all supporting me to never give up, and to forget about them.
Chapter6 SORA-painful truth
I never wanted to breathe again, i wanted to stay this way forever. His lips were stubborn, and his eyes were shut closed. He looked so scared and happy, yet so pained...I shut my eyes and could feel my tears rolling down my cheeks, tears of joy, sadness, pain, stubborness, and most of all, Love.
Love was the only thing that made me act this way. I knew every single muscle in my body didnt want to move, every vein in my body was pushing all of the blood into my face, forcing me to blush. I havent cried in so long. I was afraid that I had forgotten how to cry. And yet here I am thanks to this guardian angel thats standing in front of me, crying for my first time in years. I had forgotten how the sensation of liquids slowly dripping out from your own two eyes had felt like. I had missed this happiness, all because of this guardian, I am finally able to be at peace again. Yet I still know that the reason why this beautiful guardian is crying, and in pain, is because of me. I felt like a demon, for stealing everything away from him. I stole his whole life because of my selfishness, I was the reason his family died that night. I remember asking Ryo if his parents could drive me home after a fun day with Ryo and his family in the park, he gladly accepted. Because they planned on going out to eat after they brought me home, Ryo's sister also came with us, but Ryo had felt tired so he stayed home.
When we were almost at my house, it was raining hard, then disaster striked. The car slipped over and landed upside down.
The next thing I remembered was awaking in the hospital with stitches on my head and arms, I had survived I thought, but the doctors told me I was the only one that did. It was all my fault... When I told Ryo, he told me:
"GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!!" and cried his heart out. I had to comfort him, it was the most painful thing I had ever seen before my eyes. Because he had no where to go, we started to live together and go to the same schools... but I'm sure even if he told me that he loved me, he still thinks I'm a demon.
Chapter7 SORA-I'm sorry
Ryo, Ryo, I'm so sorry, I never meant to hurt you, I only meant to help you.
I wanted to be the one that made you light up when you saw me, but it has turned into the complete opposite, I'm so sorry. Its all my fault, I'll leave if I've gone too far. I'm not sure where I'll leave to, as long as youre happy, I'll do anything for you. Only two words were repeating in my head:
I'm sorry.
I slowly open my eyes and see Ryo's face of heartbreak and pain. He pushes me away and turns away his head. I wanted to say, look, look at me, I love you, I'm not teasing you. But with these tears in my eyes, I dont think that It would be much help. I felt so rejected, but instead of yelling at me, Ryo holds onto the back of my shirt and lays his head on my chest. He still had tears in his eyes, but much less than me. Me, now sobbing cant hold back. Im so sorry, I hug him back and my tears fall into his hair. I hold on to him with my love, and I slowly whisper in a low and quiet voice: "i love you too, i mean it."
Chapter8 SORA-Its true
I kept on repeating those words through my sobbing, I kept on saying :"i love you, i love you, i love you". Faster and faster until I couldnt breathe. He let me stay like that in his arms, his heat was heartwarming, his smell was intoxicating, I knew that I was unconditionally in love with him. I waited for him to reply with something like: "stop lying to me...", but instead I only got a cold silence.
I kept on saying I love you to Ryo, until my eyes felt tired. I nearly fell asleep until something Ryo said woke me up wide awake he said:
"I believe you." Then he let go of me, looked me in the eyes and stood up on his tip toes and kissed me on the cheek. It was a small, sweet kiss, a little peck on the cheek. When he looked me back in the eyes, he smiled. I put my hand to my face's right cheek, where he kissed me, and stared at him in amazement, It was the first time I have seen Ryo so eager to touch me. I smiled, like I never smiled before. My smile, I could feel my heart pouring emotion into it. I felt my teeth showing, my dimples were clearly shown and my eyes had a upbeat feeling. I felt loved. For the first time in ages, I felt loved.